"I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in Him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
So, I am back from my much needed "social media vaca". It wasn't very long but it was definitely refreshing. The last two weeks of life have been up and down but I have experienced God's touch in a deeper way than I have ever experienced. He emptied me enough to where I could see Him in a way I never had before and for that, I am so thankful!
Trusting God is critical, especially when it is difficult to have faith. We see unanswered prayers where Jesus sees the answers. Where we see and feel the absence of God, Jesus sees the plan of God. I am learning to never underestimate God's power! He can change everything in a matter of seconds! He can turn a hopeless situation into a miracle!
Over the last few years, I have often questioned my ability to have children. I have always had a feeling that something just wasn't right with my body. I have prayed and pleaded with God on this feeling since I desire so badly to one day have my own family. I have battled lots of female issues since I was 13 and I have felt the enemy try hard to bring me down. I would be lying if I said that my faith never wavered. Because it did. However, I can tell you that even though I had doubts or wondered how this dream would come to pass, I always knew deep down that God would see it through, one way or another.
Recently I had surgery. My doctor wanted to go in with a scope and see if I had endometriosis or some kind of scar tissue that would be causing the pain/cramps, contributing to ovarian cysts, and anything that might prevent me from having a child one day (whether it be conceiving or carrying one to full term). Keep in mind, I always knew something was not right with my body but I had no idea what or why. Long story short, the doctor removed scar tissue, a LOT of it according to what the doctor told my sister after my surgery. The tissue was so bad that it had moved an ovary out of place and he had to move that back into place. I talked to the nurse the following day and she said that they are confident that this will put an end to all of the pain (I mean, I had an OVARY out of place...uh, OUCH) and help eliminate cysts and will definitely help get my hormones back in balance (again, I had an OVARY out of place....wow). It is crazy how just removing something like scar tissue will change my life so much. He said, in a few weeks (after healing from the surgery), I will finally know what it is like to be a "normal" woman again. Wow! I can't wait to be "normal".....what is normal any way? ...... uuhh.....Anyway, needless to say, fertility is also A plus, which means, one day I will have a little Crystal junior running around! YIPPY!
So, why am I throwing all of my business out there? To maybe give somebody out there hope and to remind you to never stop praying! I know I am not pregnant right now and I still have to go through the whole husband search and then actually getting to the time that my future husband and I are actually ready for a baby BUT I have so much hope now and I prayed and prayed and prayed for answers to my women problems and God delivered. Not a day too early and not a day too late! He delivered and not just gave me answers but handed me a miracle of new hope and new eyes! I have battled women problems and He has delivered me from that. I have heart disease but I believe I will continue to overcome that as well! He is so AMAZING and His miracles are perfect!
Miracles serve as signs pointing to the future.....
This miracle gave me hope that I am on the right path and that my future IS in His hands and that He does intend on the desires of my heart to come to pass and not because I WANT these things but because HE wants these things for me! I seek Him daily and so I trust the desires I have are from Him.
There IS purpose in pain and there IS purpose in difficult times. We just have to keep holding on and trusting in Him. We have to know that He is always there and always ready to walk us through the valley. He will never leave us and in His timing, He will reveal His plan for us. He will bring us through hard times and show us a miracle of life! I'm so thankful that my Father is so perfect! I am so thankful for this life He has given me. It isn't perfect by any means but I know I am exactly where He wants me, even if I don't understand it or see it right now. He has shown me what staying in prayer does and He has shown His faithfulness to me. He has shown it to ME, somebody who doesn't even deserve it.... but that is how much He loves me!
So, if you are going through a difficult time right now, please don't give up on Him. I know that sometimes the pain is so real and so piercing that we ask questions like "why me?", "what did I do?", "why God why?" and the list goes on....but just remember that there ARE answers and there are reasons. We might not understand them or see them while in the middle of the storm but just keep praising Him because I PROMISE, there are answers. Even in our own mistakes, there are answers and there is grace! He will never work something out that isn't for our good, even in our own mistakes! He uses every opportunity for His perfect will for us, we just have to seek Him and ask for that perfect will and believe in Him. We might get off track from time to time but keep seeking Him because He WILL get us back on track! He will never fail you!
So, believe in miracles and never underestimate His Power!!!!!