If I Could Tell Singles One Thing..... It Would Be......

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking after I was asked a specific question the other night when having dinner with some girlfriends.  While biting into my salad, my girlfriend looked over at me and asked, "if you could tell women one thing about men, what would it be?"  I finished chewing and looked at her and said, "I haven't the slightest idea. Wouldn't it be easier to just let them learn their own lessons?  I mean every male and every lesson is unique in it's own."  She said, "eh, guess so."  Of course this sparked a good hour of man bashing and fantastic female bonding.  

As each girl shared their story of heartache and lessons learned, I thought to myself, what if we all listened to one another and didn't make ourselves learn the "hard way".  I know that is not reality.  For some reason as humans we have this burning desire to do what we know is wrong or bad for us and hope we learn a valuable lesson from it at the end.  

I thought about my own lessons and my own mistakes and I realize that back in my early and mid 20s, a lot of my heartache was brought on from myself.  Sure, I can blame the guy all day long but the bottom line is, I knew I was being treated badly, but I stayed anyway.  My fault!  Not his.  All he did was take the green light I gave him to continue his behavior.  Why would a selfish guy to begin with, change for somebody who is allowing him to be selfish?  Duh!  

Shouldn't I have known where I stood when he would never really go out of his way for me?  Shouldn't I have known when he would always want me to spend holidays with him and his family but would never sacrifice a holiday from his family to spend one with mine in Texas.  The answer I would get is, "it's not my fault your family lives in Texas." Oh but it certainly was an argument when I wanted to go home instead of to his family's house and I would get the guilt question, "I thought we were going to spend the holidays together?"  Uhhh....ok, so that means I have to ALWAYS be the one to sacrifice MY family....yup!  Selfish, did I listen to that huge red flag? No, I didn't.  I could go on and on and on with red flags....not even just from one specific boyfriend but from all in the past.  It's amazing how being treated like a princess is so different than being treated like second choice to....well everything.  

So, if I could tell single women and men one thing about love, it would be, "have confidence in yourself and confidence in the fact that you deserve to be treated like royalty and in first place at all times.  You deserve true, amazing, fantastic, breathtaking love and YES, it does exist."  Have confidence and KNOW that if you aren't being treated the very best by a man or a woman that there IS somebody out there who WILL treat you the right way.  Who will love you and cherish you.  Every person deserves to have somebody by their side totally and completely.  Every person deserves to have somebody who will always be by their side especially when in need, who will sacrifice equally in the relationship, who will put you and the relationship first, every person deserves to be with somebody who brings out the BEST in them and not the worst, and most of all who you never have to question if they truly love you.  So many men and women lower their standards for somebody who doesn't show them top notch treatment.  The relationship begins to lower our self-esteem and we begin to think that the good ones are all gone or that they just don't exist OR even worse..... we don't deserve real, genuine, blow your mind, once in a lifetime, amazing, phenomenal love.  Well, I'm here to tell you, they do exist and they ARE out there and you DO deserve it!  

Never settle and always walk away if even an ounce of you feels like you could do better.  Chances are, you can!

A Mother's Heart

So, I had a dream last night and it involved my Mom and a filing cabinet. I was visiting my Mom and she had left the room for a moment. I noticed a bright red filing cabinet in the corner that I had never seen before. Something prompted me to walk over to it and open it. I kept hesitating as I did not want to be snooping in my Mom's personal things but something kept prompting me to open it. So, I finally gave in and I opened it. Inside were tons of files, "Crystal's first hand prints", "Crystal's first day of school",  "Crystal's hospital visits", "Crystal's heart murmur and how to keep her healthy", "Crystal's first crush", "Crystal's first sleep over with her friends", "Crystal's first Jr. High friend argument", "Crystal's first boyfriend", "Crystal's first heart break", "Crystal's first job", "Crystal's first day of college", "Crystal's heart break from Rachel's death", "Crystal moving to Arkansas" and the files went on and on and on. I remember going through the titles of each file saying to myself, "has my Mom gone mad? What is this all about?" I opened the file that was titled "Crystal's first heartbreak". Inside I would find pictures of him and me... happy. I would find all the gifts he had given me throughout our courtship, including crushed roses that I had kept from the day he had proposed to me. I also found the engagement ring he had given me along with a note from my Mom asking God, "please heal my baby girl's heart and help her to find love again someday." I couldn't believe it. I started to cry as my Mom walked in and caught me with my hands in her filing cabinet. She walked over to me and hugged me and that's when I woke up. 

I thought about that dream all morning and then I realized, God was telling me how every joy, every tear, every heartbreak, problem, milestone is filed away in my mother's heart. From good to bad.....it is there, in her heart. I want to honor my Mom today. Only a Mom can love a another human being this much. Only a Mother can be so strong when they watch us fall and wish they could take our pain away. Only a Mother can cherish our accomplishments so dearly. So, Mom, we haven't always seen eye to eye but thank you for loving me no matter what. I know every moment of my life is filed away in your heart and I am so blessed to have somebody that loves me so much! I love you Mom!

Day Three - Tell us about life and a change that you would like to make.

Life is pretty awesome at the moment!!

This week was a great week at work.....I get to spend all day with these ladies..... so of course work is fun and joy packed all day everyday!

I enjoyed lots of time with family!  From family dinner, to manicure with my cousin, to watching my sweet little cousin play softball!

Can't forget time with my sweet Daisy Dog!

I wouldn't change much about life.  God is good and He is providing an amazing life for me full of joy and happiness.  The only thing I would change would be car shopping.....been car shopping for about a month now and I can't seem to make up my mind.  I'm not sure if it's that I don't know what car I want or if I'm just terrified of a car payment.  haha..... we'll see what happens!  Stay tuned.  :)

Day Two ~ Tell us who the last person is that you spoke to on the phone and your history with them.

The last person I spoke with on the phone was my lovely sissy!!!!!

Day 1 Of Awesomeness - But First Let Me Take a Selfie

1. Post a current pic of yourself , tell us what you did today, and put your ipod on shuffle and give us the first 15 songs that come on.

  IPOD Shuffle

1.  Strong By London Grammar

2.  We Are By Kari Jobe

3.  Great I Am Bye Phillips, Craig & Dean

4.  Healer By Kari Jobe 

5.  Find You On My Knees By Kari Jobe

6.  Super Bass By Nicki Minaj 

7.  City On Our Knees By Toby Mac

8.  I Luh Ya Papi By JLo

9.  Lovely By Sara Haze

10.  Billie Jean By Michael Jackson

11.  Best Thing I Never Had By Beyonce

12.  The Lord Our God By Passion

13.  Marry You By Bruno Mars

14.  She's Like Texas By Josh Abbott Band

15.  Ditty By Paperboy

Five Days Of Awesomeness

1. Post a current pic of yourself , tell us what you did today, and put your ipod on shuffle and give us the first 15 songs that come on.

2. Tell us who the last person is that you spoke to on the phone and your history with them.

3. Tell us about life and a change that you would like to make.

4. Tell us the last movie you watched and your favorite movie.

5. Tell us about the book you are reading now or the last book you read.

God Still Parts Red Seas

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6


The children of Israel spent 400 years as slaves and when they were finally set free, the first thing they ran into was the Red Sea. There were overwhelming mountain ranges on both sides of them, the sea in front of them and behind them, the Egyptian army.  Pharaoh had changed his mind about letting them go and sent the Egyptian army in pursuit to retrieve them.  It appeared that the children of Israel were trapped.

To them, it seemed like it was over.  Where would they go?  What would they do?  However, God knew exactly what He would do. He could see what they could not see and He had designed this scene perfectly. In God's amazing splendor, He opened the Red Sea and they walked through to safety. Years later, the Israelites looked back and sang, "Your road led by a pathway through the sea—a pathway no one knew was there!" (Psalm 77:19). 

What circumstances are you in right now that are making you feel like there is no escape and no where to turn? What Red Sea lies ahead of you and you just don't know how you will make it across without drowning?  You might be facing some serious hard times right now - finances are questionable, emotions are high, relationships are falling apart, children are misbehaving, jobs are overwhelming and the Red Sea ahead of you looks impossible to cross.  Just wait.  He is finding a way to part that Red Sea for you now.  

"The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining brighter till the full light of day"  Proverbs 4:18

As we go through life, we run across good times and bad times.  Sometimes we shout for joy and other times our devastation takes lead and our joy takes a back seat.  Faith keeps us going through those difficult times.  We do not see the big picture but God does.  God understands our walk and He allows certain things to happen so we can learn and grow in Him.  Sometimes we have to take a painful turn in order to get back on His will for our lives. We can ask questions but we might not get the answers right away.  Sometimes it takes years before we are able to look back and say "now I know what you were up to God, thank you."  

Proverbs 3 tells us to not lean on our own understanding.  Acknowledge His ways and have faith.  Trust Him to part that Red Sea in front of you.  Sometimes He might need us to stand in front of it for a while but He will always walk us through it when it's time.  He can see the end result.  Maybe things are not clear to us now but be patient, they will be. 

An An Enemy Is Created

So, many of us go through life either making enemies or somehow becoming somebody's enemy and not even know it. I am a victim of both. I can proudly say that I no longer have any enemies. Through Christ I have forgiven any enemies that I had picked up along my lost journey. Now, if somebody views me as their enemy, well that's a different story. I realized a long time ago that I cannot control what others do with their free time. I have also learned that to have an enemy is way too much work and heartache. It puts more heartache on your own heart than whoever you are holding a grudge against.

Which brings me to the word "grudge". This is the word that starts it all! This word is what creates an enemy. Think about it, the word starts with "grrrrr.....". Already a sign of negativity and attack! Holding a grudge is equivalent to locking yourself in a closet with a hungry beast. It's so easy to suffocate yourself with all the anxiety and hatred that holding a grudge brings and that hungry beast, he will eat you ALIVE. Loving others is so much healthier and pleasant. Not just spiritually but physically and mentally as well.

"Forget about the wrong things people do to you, and do not try and get even. Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Leviticus 19:18

So, how are we to deal with "enemies". It's easy, DON'T fight back and LOVE all people! The Gospels, Matthew and Luke, teach us how to deal with enemies and what God expects from us.

"But I tell you, don't stand up against an evil person. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other cheek also." Matthew 5:39

"But I say to you, love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you. If you do this, you will be true children of your Father in Heaven." Matthew 5:44-45

"But I say to you who are listening, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who are cruel to you." Luke 6:27-28

Why spend the energy or time that God has blessed us with hating one another or trying to get back at a person? God has a special work of art in us and none of it includes grudges or hate. Our lives are our own testimony of God and should teach, inspire, encourage, and uplift others. People who view our lives should not have to view hatred or grudges but view love and peace and most of all Christ! It is important the character we allow others to see is a character of love. What others see is what we show God to be. So, don't hold grudges or exhibit hate because that is not the picture of God that we should paint to others.

I encourage those of you who are holding grudges to pray to God and take that grudge to the Cross where it belongs. Get rid of it and love your enemies. Love your enemies so much that you no longer view them as enemies or a threat. Forgive and let go. Give the problem to God and trust that He is taking care of you and is always on your side. It is not our place for vengeance but our place to love and show the mercy of Christ as He has shown us! Let your life be a beautiful painting of God's love. Whether you like it or not, people are viewing you. What kind of picture are you painting for them?

A Work In Progress

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

So this morning in my Bible Study I walked away thinking a lot about how my life has been transformed. I was this ugly, manipulative, lying, drunken, sinful woman a few years ago. I will never forget the day I really decided to give my whole heart over to the Lord....it was the day I realized that if I really wanted to live God's will for my life, I was going to have to change EVERYTHING about my life.  I was living in Arkansas and was so lost.  I learned so much during that year. I learned that saying goodbye to people and things we love are sometimes the only way to get to where you were meant to be, I learned about hard work and how blessed I was to have a good job, I learned that sometimes home isn't always where you should be but it's always good to go back to recapture the good times....home is where we make it, I learned that without God in my life I just can't do it. My faith in God is what moved me back to Texas.. I made so many mistakes when I spent time in the world. I look back now and I have NO idea where my head was.  I had lots of bad moments in life.....He loves me so much that He found a way to make good out of many bad situations. I learned a lot in the world but I gained wisdom in Him and I continue to learn and grow in Him.

Which brings me to where I am now and the transformations that have occurred. God is good and everything I have asked God for, is slowly being answered. I have always known what kind of woman I wanted to be but I was the TOTAL opposite of who I really wanted to be. So many years I went through life with this secret person inside my heart that was screaming to get out. Fear and insecurities wouldn't let her out. I was scared to be a forgiving woman....fearful that others would keep running all over me if I always forgave. So I held on to grudges and I would let others know that I still remembered. I was scared to be giving in fear that I would be taken advantage of. Scared that if I gave an inch they would take a mile. So, I was selfish and greedy. I was scared to not share "gossip" with others in fear that if I didn't have juicy information then why would anybody want to talk to me. So, I gossiped so that people would talk to me. Doesn't everybody want to talk to the girl who knows ALL and who will spill the beans? Yeah, I was that girl for so long! I took all of this to the Cross one day and asked God to transform my heart. Little by little He started working in me. I am still a work in progress but I have come SO far and I am so grateful for His love and mercy.  I am BEYOND perfect and I'm thankful for that because that means I keep learning and growing.

Prayer is key! There is POWER in prayer! To pray is to change and to change is to grow! Prayer is grace and grace is of God. Every woman should strive to be graceful! God is a wonderful Father who longs to pour out transformation and blessings in our lives. All we have to do is just ask! A life transformed by God is a miracle and it is there waiting for each person! We are all His children and He wants to see us all be who we were meant to be. If we let Him, the Holy Spirit will do extraordinary work in us. All we need to do is ask and have FAITH!

Wanting to change who you are and the lifestyle you are living? Do it!!  Be all that He wants you to be.  Sitting on the fence between the world and your Christian walk trying to decide which path you would rather be on or worse, trying to walk both paths?  Get off the fence and choose HIM.....I promise, the path on the right side of that fence you have found comfort on is AMAZING!!!!  There are still ups and downs but the view is so much more beautiful and peaceful on this path.  Sure we still come across bad storms but they are always followed by the sun.....and the grass on this side, well it keeps looking greener.  You start to enjoy your life and no longer look on the other side and think their grass is greener.  You become thankful for where you are because you have faith that God has you there for His ultimate plan and there is comfort in that.  Make a decision today..... I promise, you won't regret it and He won't turn you away.  

Inspire Me Like You Did Queen Of Sheba

Lord, today I ask that You inspire me the way you inspired Queen Of Sheba by the way You worked in the life of Solomon. You blessed Solomon with wisdom and prosperity, which in turn moved Queen of Sheba to acknowledge You as all powerful God, King of kings! Please help me to discern what lurks inside the darkness of my heart and to take responsibility for the thing I,myself create. Help me to accept Your cleaning of me. You, Lord, make me pure. The blood You shed on the cross makes my soul pure white. I need that reminder and I need that confidence in Your Love for me! Make me sensitive and accepting of the purifying power of Your presence within me and Your Healing Power among all of Your children. I am Yours and You are all powerful Lord!  In Jesus Name Amen!