Be Bold Enough To BE

Inspiration! Oh, I LOVE inspiration! Today I had a beautiful conversation with my sweet friend, Amanda. I reached out to her for prayer and she immediately responded with encouragement, hope and obedience.  She heard my heart and then took the time to pray and seek God for guidance before responding back to me....thankfully she did this and allowed the Holy Spirit to work in her heart before saying anything.  She was obedient to what He had spoken to her and I'm SO thankful she was.

In summary, she said she felt that God needed me to just "BE".  She said that she felt like I needed to stop trying so hard....stop trying to please God and others so much and just be me!  I knew something was going on inside of me but I didn't know what exactly and this just totally opened my eyes to what I was feeling.  I didn't even realize that THIS was my issue......THIS is why I was feeling so...... so lost.....

You see, we don't have to work hard to please Him.  He leads us and opens doors for us to use our gifts.  We don't have to try and impress Him or prove to Him that we are worthy.  For that matter, we don't have to prove this to anybody else either.  He has equipped us and He has already ordered our steps.  We don't have to try so hard to impress.  We are His precious gifts!

Today I chose to take a break from social media.  I need to just BE.  I need to find myself SO lost in Him that I don't feel the need to please.  This past year has backed me into a corner of self-doubt, pain, disappointment and confusion.  My heart hurts and at times I feel so lost and unsure.  I can choose to stay in this dark place of loss and self-pity or I can allow God to help me to rise above all of the pain and disappointment.

If you are going through a time of feeling lost, you aren't alone!  I'm not alone.  We have one another but more importantly, we have a God who is ALWAYS walking with us.  He sees us and knows us by name.  I challenge you today to just BE! BE BOLD enough to just BE who YOU are!!!  Who GOD created!  Be bold enough to not feel the need to please but to be confident in who you are!

Thank you Amanda for your encouragement! I needed that message today!

I Don't Do Unhealthy: I Didn't Let Wisdom Guide

"Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding." Proverbs 4:6-7

Forgiveness.  

We all need forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a must as a Christian.  It's a commandment that comes with loving others and following Christ.  As much as forgiving is important, so is wisdom.  I think it's fair to say that my forgiveness always has come with complete faith and trust in people.  If I forgave you, I fully trusted you again.  If I chose to remain in your life, I put my all back in.  This might be needed in some incidents but I think it's safe to say that in most instances, it's wise to take the time to slowly allow trust back in.  Forgiveness doesn't mean trust and relationship.   Forgiveness simply means grace and Jesus.  Restoration does not have to follow forgiveness and I think that often times, we hold back forgiveness because we aren't ready for relationship or trusting again.  Forgiveness restores our hearts but doesn't have to restore the relationship.  Sometimes forgiveness is a part of goodbye and walking away gracefully.

Wisdom has to come with forgiveness because wisdom comes from God.  

I'm learning this truth and it's been a painful lesson to learn but it has been worth learning.  Proverbs 4:6-7 gently warns us that wisdom can cost it all and I'm currently living in that painful but freeing truth.  I worked in full time ministry at a church I loved dearly.  I loved the people, the messages and what I felt that God was doing there.....wisdom cost me the job I loved so much.  It still stings and at times, I still cry.  The painful reality that wisdom opened up, left a sting in my heart that hasn't quite left.  God's faithfulness is beautiful though.  The one thing that still stings my heart is the day I reached out with some of my concerns while I was employed there and I was told by the pastor I reached out to, that if I quit that church, I would NEVER find another good opportunity to work at a place like that again.....but then God.  Thankfully that pastor is not my amazing and most POWERFUL HEAVENLY FATHER!  Thankfully my Father has bigger plans for me and I'm living out that plan now and I know He will continue to have bigger plans for me and my family. Thankfully God loves me, sees me and values me!  Thankfully that pastor's words aren't the final words in my life......I serve an awesome Father WHO has the FINAL say in my life.

After that incident, I forgave and moved on in my position.  I continued to serve wholeheartedly but all the while, praying for wisdom.  I knew something didn't feel right in my spirit about what was said to me and I didn't feel right about so many other things I had concerns with.  So, I continued to pray for wisdom. 

Wisdom is a beautiful thing.  It redirects our lives, shapes our value system and leads us to God's better plan for us.  

My heart still aches when I think about that part of my past.  It's a season that sadly haunts me but I'm thankful I serve a God who is using it to better shape me, guide me and grow me.  He has allowed me to grow in wisdom and wisdom has taught me to tread lightly, not jump in without researching and seeking God and ALWAYS follow scripture!  My heart still aches so deeply and I still have lots of forgiving to do but I'm thankful that I now know the value of letting wisdom guide after forgiveness.  

Stay tuned for: "I Supported Anybody & Everybody"

I Don't Do Unhealthy: I Trusted Too Easily

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8

This scripture used to always confuse me.  I didn't understand how a God who believed in community and relationship so much could warn us about trusting others.  It wasn't until I was in high school and I was brutally betrayed by a close friend that I knew what this scripture was telling me.  I put more trust in those relationships and in those girls never lying to me, rejecting me and making me feel accepted than I did in the One who will never lie to me, reject me and will always accept me.  

I realized as I got older that people will hurt us, no matter how amazing or loving the relationship is and that's why we have to take refuge in the Lord over man.  The amazing part about this scripture is that it's not meant for us to be cynical when it comes to trust but it's meant to 1) protect our hearts and 2) compel us to love others with a graceful heart.  If we have the Love of the Lord in us then it is easier for us to show grace to others.

  "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace," 

1 Peter 4:10

Even though I knew this, I wasn't practicing it.  I was putting all of my trust into my relationships, expecting them to live up to this high standard that I placed upon them.  I was feeling completely rejected when they would hurt me in any way, leaving me walking with pain and bitterness.  I was letting people in too soon and getting upset when I finally got to know them and realized they were not people I needed to be friends with or have in my close circle and when I would finally realize this, I would be angry with them and couldn't love them the way God has called me to love others.  

Going into new relationships wisely isn't to frustrate us but to protect us and the other person.  We can't trust too easily or quickly.  We have to walk into new relationships guarding our heart and getting to know a person so that way we don't end up hurting them if we find that this isn't a person that should be in our close circle and vice versa.  None of us are perfect so we need to be protected as well if for some reason another person decides we don't belong in their close circle.  Views are different and sometimes beliefs can cause us to decide it's time to move on from a relationship.  We can eliminate all of this pain if we stop trusting too easily and jumping into relationships without getting to know somebody.  

Get to know the person's beliefs, watch how they treat others and most of all ask yourself if this is somebody you would trust with your children or husband.  If you aren't married, ask yourself if this is somebody who will help you to live a pure and peaceful single life.  Read scripture and find out what God wants in friends for us. Pray and ask God if He approves of the friendship blossoming and be obedient to His whisper.  

Trusting others isn't a bad thing but it is something we should do wisely.  So much pain could be eliminated in other's lives if we learned to do this.  I'm praying for you and praying for trust to be a precious and fragile part of who you are so that you don't give it away too easily! 

Stay tuned for "I Didn't Let Wisdom Guide"

I Don't Do Unhealthy: Rejection - Letting Go Of the Chase

"Eliminate unhealthy relationships and focus on healthy ones. Honestly consider the value of each of your current relationships. Pray for the wisdom to determine which people in your life right now either are or aren’t worthy of your trust, time, and energy. Ask yourself who influences your life in positive ways, as well as who impacts it in negative ways. Let go of unhealthy relationships and focus only on people with whom you truly have safe and positive relationships. From now on, choose to invest only in relationships in which you can participate in a healthy flow of mutual commitment and contribution." - Crosswalk

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THIS 👐

I can't explain to you how much this solidified some of the things I had been praying about since I returned home from Texas. Something about my trip to Texas completely changed my heart, my spirit and my mind.  I feel peaceful and enlightened and have walked with a renewed hope.  God is SO AMAZING how He brings everything to the forefront and how He orchestrates it all to work out for our good.  He DOES MAKE BEAUTY OUT OF ASHES!!!! Thank You Jesus! 

With that being said, one of the things he has been working in my heart about is, my ability to let anybody and everybody into my close circle. I continue to chase the people who reject me, I trust too easily, I forgive without allowing wisdom to guide the relationship after forgiveness and I support anybody and everybody and their dreams without asking myself if I need to support at close range or step away and support from a distance (might not make sense written out but it does in my head haha).

The next few days, I will be elaborating on each of these components because I think it's important for us to share our experiences with one another.  If somebody has or is going through what I have, then maybe I can help and vice versa!  I want to share what God has moved in me over the past couple of weeks and why these things can be dangerous to us emotionally, physically and most of all spiritually!  

I ALLOW ANYBODY AND EVERYBODY INTO MY CLOSE CIRCLE

Why would we do this y'all?  There are so many scriptures that support us NOT doing this yet Christians tend to do this more often than not because it is ingrained in our minds that we are to love and be kind (which we should).  However, we can love and be kind without allowing people into our closest most inner thoughts.  We must be "choosy" about who we allow into those most precious places in the deepest most purest core of our inner being.  The enemy is lurking and is capable of using anybody to speak death into our dreams and into our lives and family's lives (even if it's not directly to us).  Yes, we are to love but I've said it time and time before, sometimes loving from a distance is a more precious and sacred love because it allows us to separate ourselves from the pain of rejection and hurt and allows us to give those emotions to God and move on.  Separation isn't always a bad thing and God sometimes needs that separation between two people in order to work.  

Even Jesus had an inner circle!

I was literally sharing my most inner thoughts, my precious heart, my complete trust and parts of my life that are sacred with people who have shown me time and time again that they don't really care about a relationship with me.  So, in essence, I was allowing myself to be rejected over and over again..... and over and over again....and over....(you get the picture).  Which brings me to my first lesson:

I Continued to Chase the People Who Rejected Me

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you." Josh 15:18

Ugh, rejection.  One of the ugliest feelings in the world.  It's one that Jesus must have felt over and over again.  It hurts my heart to think about the pain he must of endured, all for me....all for us! What's amazing though is the beauty that God makes out of rejection.  

"As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,"

 1 Peter 2:4

"The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone." Psalm 118:22

For me, that beauty is that rejection has brought me into a deeper relationship with Him.  A relationship that's beauty is beyond any earthly friendship that I can ever imagine.  The beauty rejection has done for me is that it helped me to understand that not everybody is meant to be in my life or me in theirs......and THAT IS OK!  That is how it is supposed to be.  There are only a select few people that God wants in our deepest part of us and rejection allows Him to weed out the ones who are not supposed to be in there.  So, for the first time ever, I am SO thankful for REJECTION!!!!  I know it's so cliche' but it's so true, "Rejection is protection!"  So, at some point, we HAVE TO STOP chasing that in which He is trying to separate us from.  We have to STOP chasing the rejection.  How crazy is it that sometimes we CHASE the rejection?  Well, it stops today!  I hope you will join me! 

Every time I think about rejection, I think about the story of Leah and Rachel and what rejection did in their story.  Have you ever just felt so left out, so unchosen, so rejected?  I have.  Up until recently, I felt that day in and day out.  I can truly say that God has finally delivered me from the past rejections I have encountered.  I have found forgiveness, peace, love and the strength and courage to let go.  I had to let go of the hurt feelings and most of all I had to let go of the chase.   

Stay tuned for "I Trusted Too Easily"..... 

God Searches For His Sheep

Ezekiel y'all!! I dove into Ezekiel 34 this morning and I'm so thankful that the Lord led me to this wonderful book. One of the things that has grieved my heart the past few months is the world today. And not just the world outside of Christ but the world of Christianity as well. The Bible warns us of the false teachers that surround us and it's been something that has hurt my heart more than words can even describe.

I worked at a church full time and once a week had the amazing honor of being Pastor on call, so I know first hand that there are so many hurting and hungry people out there searching for hope and searching for answers. With such an enormous amount of lost hurting people, I'm realistic and wise enough to know that this means easy prey for lots of predators. The devil knew that this would be the case and while God is raising up legit leaders, the enemy is raising up false teachers.

So as I've studied false teachers and signs to be aware of over the past few months, I have asked God many hard questions. I knew when He was ready and when I was ready to receive the answers, that He would answer. Don't you just LOVE HIS LOVE!? This morning, I received that comfort and peace I had been searching for in my studying of false teachers. Ezekiel 34 happened to me this morning and my heart couldn't be more at peace.

Ezekiel 34 teaches us that there is so much hope for those who have been led astray by false teachers. It reminded me and gave me hope that He has taken care of these details that sometimes get overlooked. Leaders are like shepherds to God and I know that the same God who rescued then is the same God who will rescue now. He sees the shepherds now who are misleading like He saw them in the past. "This is what the Lord God says: I am against the shepherds. I will blame them for what has happened to my sheep and will not let them tend the flock anymore. Then the shepherds will stop feeding themselves, and I will take my flock from their mouths and so they will no longer be their food." Ezekiel 34:10

My questions to God have been questions about the innocent ones. "What about the ones who are hungry and lost but know no better?" He answers that for me in Ezekiel 34:11-12, "This is what the Lord God says: I, myself, will search for my sheep and take care of them. As a shepherd takes care of his scattered flock when it is found, I will take care of my sheep. I will save them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day." Of course He is going to take care of the innocent and of course He is going to hand pick His children from the grips of evil before it's too late. Thank You Jesus for loving your people the way you do! Thank you for giving my heart peace in a world of false teachers preying on lost souls.

As Darin and I continue our journey in a new state, I know that God is protecting us from false teachers. I have been so timid in the new search for a new church that the process has been a slow movement. But that's OK. After reading Ezekiel, I no longer feel rushed to look nor do I feel fear to look. I know He will guide us, protect us and (if needed) rescue us!!!

Accountability and Separation Equals True Love

Friendships and business partnerships are a tricky thing. We should always make sure we know who we really are entrusting our lives and businesses with. If they are not living right behind closed doors, they WILL tarnish your family name, business name, and reputation. Not to mention the spiritual harm it can do to yourself, your circle of influence and that person. 

Often times we feel like in order to love, we must not turn them away. This kind of thinking is foolish thinking. Yes, we are called to love but real love is holding others accountable and not turning a blind eye to their sin. I wouldn't be where I am today spiritually if it weren't for the people who exhibited true Godly love toward me. They loved me enough to hold me accountable and yes, sometimes had to love me from a distance because of my ways. Did it hurt? Yes, ABSOLUTELY!! But it taught me a valuable lesson and it made me realize that people I loved deserved better than who I was giving them!

I was giving them a pretend "christian" who said all the right things at the right times. I would pretend to turn away from my sin and put on a good "christian" show for others. I lived half way in the world and half way in church raising my hands in praise. I look back at who I was many many years ago and I'm SO thankful for the ones who didn't live in the delusion of who I pretended to be. They used the powerful discernment God had gifted them with and used it for His good. They loved me with truth and God's Word. They were obedient to what He says. He commanded them to stay separated from somebody like me and their obedience worked out for my good as well. We can't ignore the guidance He gives us in scripture. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Loving others doesn't mean you have to give them your complete all or trust them with everything and everybody in your life. Scripture teaches us to watch our company. We can still love others without putting our own family, other people's salvation or hard work at risk. In fact God guides us to stay away from them. Who in your life is needing some tough love? Who in your life is needing somebody to love them enough to sit them down and have a true and honest heart to heart? Who in your life are you putting too much trust in? Talk to God about it and seek His guidance. Read scripture and align what we are taught with your actions. Be brave today and LOVE somebody with TRUE GODLY LOVE. 

"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." Proverbs 13:20

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ..." 2 Timothy 3:1-17

"I do not sit with men of falsehood, nor do I consort with hypocrites. I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked." Psalm 26:4-5

When You Have To Flee

In today's world of social media, it's so easy to fall into the need to have people's acceptance. We post hoping for a like or a comment. We post longing for the acceptance of other people. Sometimes that acceptance can become our god and we can find ourselves needing that more than we need Him.

I recently was slapped in the face with this sin of mine. I found myself desperately needing social media likes from certain people only to feel rejected when they looked past me. I would see their approval of others Facebook posts and pictures and would find myself feeling like a rejected failure. God revealed to me that I was seeking approval from the wrong source. I was worshiping the approval from certain people instead of being content in His approval.

I would love to say that after realizing this, I repented and quit. I tried that but it didn't work. I continued to sadly notice the lack of social media attention from these individuals and my heart continued to ache. Why was this such a battle with me and with just these certain people? I asked God these specific questions and He revealed that I was searching for grace and forgiveness from them. He reminded me of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross for me and that grace and forgiveness were already mine. I didn't need to seek personal value from these individuals nor did I need to continue to feel trapped in my mistakes from the past. With this new knowledge, I didn't know what to do. I understood what He was telling me but I couldn't get my heart to understand. Still, I kept secretly waiting for their "likes" and comments. They never came.....

"Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry." 1 Corinthians 10:14

The bottom line was that I had been idolizing certain people's acceptance on social media. I was putting their rejection of me above God's love for me. With each post, my spirit grew more and more weary. With each viewing of that person's likes and comments on other people's posts, I felt more and more rejected. I finally said, "wait, this is not what God wants for me." I prayed several days on what to do and I came across 1 Corinthians 10:14...... I had to either deactivate all of my social media or delete the people who's acceptance I had been idolizing for so long. I weighed both options very carefully. I use social media for my coaching business and soon for the Mrs. Washington pageant. I dreaded doing what I knew I needed to do..... I didn't want to feel mean or childish but I knew I had to flee from this idolatry I had created for myself. I had to remove it from my life. I had to be mature enough to say that not having people on my social media does not mean I don't love them or care for them, it just means that I am choosing to remove the temptation to sin. I am choosing to only worship God and His love and acceptance of me. So, I did it y'all. I deleted people from social media. I dislike deleting people. I never want to hurt people's feelings or make them feel as if I am rejecting them. My heart is pure and to love God more than anybody and anything in this world is what I desire. He isn't concerned with feelings, He is concerned with my heart health and I knew what was happening was not good for my heart or my relationship with Him.

So, I challenge you today to totally put God first. Is there something in your life that causes you to stumble? Is there something in your life that you are idolizing and putting above God? If so, remove it from your life at all cost. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is more important than your heart with God. He has to come first no matter what. Sometimes, you just have to flee.....

Big Faith In Any Job

Living in big faith means living a walk and lifestyle so close to God's heart that even the strongest of unbelievers can't resist noticing it. Often times, people think that if they don't work for the church or in ministry that they aren't walking as close to Him as say a, ministry leader or pastor. The truth is, we all are human and have a choice to walk a christian walk and live a christian lifestyle. It doesn't matter if you work in ministry or work as a secretary or doctor or dog walker.

Take it from somebody who worked in ministry at a pretty large church. My days weren't filled with oohs and ahhs and holding hands with my co-workers as we prayed all day. My days were working, getting impatient with processes, following rules and regulations, some days not feeling well and any other crazy thing you can think of. My point is, even church staff have our "moments" in the work place and we too have to choose to live for Him and act according to how He would have us. Being a church worker does not exempt people from being human.

Has it ever occurred to you that the heroes of the bible were working normal jobs outside of the church and dealing with the same normal life chaos that you deal with? Don't believe me? Well it's true! Moses did most of his work in the Pharaoh's conference rooms and deserts. Boaz did his on a farm. Esther did hers in a king's palace. Noah did his on an ark. Nehemiah did his on a construction project. For the most part they were not clergy working in the local church. No, they were working regular jobs and living "normal" lives. And there are many others in the bible who were living normal lives but fulfilling His purpose and plan for them.

When we work in secular jobs, we have an opportunity to show God's love to others. We have an opportunity to be the light in a dark world. We have an opportunity to share the Gospel either verbally or visually. You get to have a chance to practice a big faith that's big enough for the real world. Your faith doesn't have to be restricted just to an environment of church. Today, let your faith be big enough to be an act of God walking on the streets in the real world!

Cleansing This Lent Season

Ah, the season of Lent. I love it. It feels like a peaceful time of renewing and cleansing our spirit. It's a time of reflecting on who God is and what Jesus did for us on the cross. Lent year has been especially special for me this year. My birthday was yesterday, the first day of Lent. I have been preparing for this season and really diving into scripture and prayer. My heart has been healing for some time now. It's been over a year since our miscarriage and it's been a year of amazing growth in Him and with Him. Gah, I love Him so much. I wish you could look into my heart and get a view of my love for Him. He's done so much in my pain. He's loved me in ways I couldn't even try and describe to you.

With all this love He gives me, I have still struggled with acceptance. I have struggled with a complete need of being accepted from friends, past co-workers, family and acceptance with even myself. Recently I have been able to spend so much time with Him and I have realized this downfall I have. Believe it or not, I had no idea I struggled with such nonsense as needing to FEEL accepted. I emphasize the word "feel" because no matter how we "feel", we ARE accepted!! God accepts us and we have to replace truth with lies when it comes to our feelings. 

This Lent season, I am letting go of the need to be accepted and just living my life for Him and His love! The past few days I have made peace with the fact that not everybody will love me, like me, accept me, forgive me or even tolerate me. It's just a fact. We will never ever please everybody so it's time to appreciate and fully focus on HIS acceptance of me. Wow, y'all!! HE loves ME. HE likes ME. HE accepts ME. HE forgives ME. And HE even tolerates ME. I am the apple of His eye and if His eye is the only one I will ever be the apple of, I'm SO BLESSED! 

Cleansing in this area is tough. It's one I've been praying about for days and even weeks now. There are lots of changes that comes with this type of cleansing. Lots of relationships that must shift because of the amount of idolatry I placed their acceptance at. Yes, you read that right. Idolatry. I realized that I idolized certain people's acceptance; just waiting on it, praying on it, hoping for it and then sadly being pained when the rejection came. God does not want me to live that way. He needs me to be me and to walk in the fullness of His love no matter who in this world rejects me. He suffered from rejection and died on the cross so that I wouldn't be rejected. Other's hate will never ever matter or make a difference in His purpose and calling on my life. The truth is y'all, we are made by Him, for Him and in His image. 

So cleansing is taking place in my life this season. I'm not quite sure what that looks like yet but I know He will tell me when it's time. He will guide me and I will be obedient. Thank You Jesus for all you have done for us. My heart is completely full and at peace because of You. 

Let Them Stand Alone In The Conflict

"You don't have to resolve conflict with every person. Some people don't want to be at peace with you. Don't waste your time fighting battles that don't matter. Only God's approval matters." Unknown

Conflict. Disapproval. Bitterness. Unforgiveness. Resentment. These words can describe some of the ugliest emotions and chains we put ourselves in. We allow something somebody said or did to us to completely rule who we are and what we stand for. We can't truly completely love like God if we are holding on to any of these awful things. We can't love even ourselves if we aren't loving others.....EVEN if others refuse to forgive you, refuse to move forward with you in love, refuse to accept their own mistakes and painful actions and even if they want to continue point the finger at your faults and your wrongs.

If you have been in conflict with somebody, you have to come to a point where you leave that person alone in that conflict. You make the decision to step out of it and move forward with your own life. It's OK if somebody doesn't want to resolve and have restoration with you. It doesn't mean you are bad or that you are unloved. It means that person is happy in the conflict and it's time to separate yourself because that relationship will be forever unhealthy and ungodly. Their opinion of you will NEVER ever take away God's love for you. It's a battle that isn't yours to fight and needs to be handed over to Him. He will fill that void of lost love and He will always approve of you and love you!

Don't walk away angry, or in hate or bitterness. Forgive and love from a distance. Sometimes that space is what God needs to work in both hearts! He is a God of love and restoration and sometimes we have to give Him the space and time to work!

I'm doing this today. I'm walking away from the hurt I have shackled myself to. I am no longer living in my own guilt or past mistakes. I have hurt people. I am not perfect, neither are you. I too have been hurt but I forgive you. I also forgive myself. Your conflict with me is no longer my concern and you are standing in that conflict alone. I am finally freeing myself from guilt, pain, other people's disapproval and walking into His loving arms and acceptance! Other's words and opinions of me can no longer hurt me because I.AM.HIS.

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27

Eliminate the Fan In You

In a world full of skewed values, constant hate and selfish motives, we need to do everything we can to eliminate just being a "fan" of Jesus. You might be asking yourself right now, "what does she mean by being a 'fan' of Jesus, I love Jesus .......isn't that good enough?" The truth is that loving Jesus and being a true follower of Jesus are two totally different things and as Christians, we need to do both.

There was a time in my life where I was on the fence in my christian walk. I had one foot in and one foot out flirting with a worldly lifestyle. One day after a night out at the bars I got home, hopped on social media and saw that a friend had posted this quote, I would love to say reading this quote about Christians being the cause of atheism shifted something in me.....but it didn't. In my warped mind of thinking I was still doing right because I was going to church every Sunday, I said to myself "Yeah! You hypocrites, you are turning people away from Christ!" and then I reposted it. So my page for that weekend was as follows...."Wooo having fun with the girls" (at a bar, I didn't have a drink in my hand, just the other girls did so I was good", "Wooooo ran into these cute boys" (I wasn't making out with any of them and again, no beer in my hand. My clothes were a little questionable but who cares, I'm not showing them that I am drinking), then a repost of the awesome quote about hypocrite Christians, next my sweet post about how church service was awesome.....but it didn't stop there because it was "Sunday Fun day" and I had to go celebrate at the bars a few hours after church. Sad huh?

I was lost. I was so totally and utterly lost that I had NO idea what I was doing to myself, other lost people, other people still on the fence or most importantly my walk with God. I was hurting myself more than what I would have been had I just been all in to a sinful world of unbelieving. Sounds harsh but it's true and scripture tells us this too:

"But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" Revelation 3:16

That scripture scares me but I didn't get it until a loving person in my small group at the time (yes, I was attending a small group in between my nights out bar and club hopping) pulled me to the side and said, "I'm saying this out of love because I know you want to be a vessel for Christ but I have to tell you, you're doing it wrong and I want you to read this scripture...." She then lovingly and with so much wisdom in her every word explained to me that this scripture was a warning to all of us and that this scripture alone tells us that it isn't enough to just say I love Him but I have to show it to Him every single day and I have to reach the lost and unloved by living a lifestyle that HONORS God. And then she broke it to me, I was not living a lifestyle that honored myself or the One who gave His only begotten Son for me. That evening shook my world. I had so many mixed emotions; hurt, anger, pain, resentment, bitterness, guilt, conviction, sadness.....and I finally hit my knees and asked for complete forgiveness and a complete surrender. I told God that I was SO sorry for all the lost people that I confused with my behavior, out at the bars and clubs one night then church the next. How I must have confused so many people or even worse......turned them away from the most beloved Father.

I spent many weeks not talking to anybody. I had so much to sort out in my mind, my heart and in my life. All of my friends lived the half in and half out lifestyle and didn't understand what I was trying to tell them when I started declining nights out. I would ask them to come over and watch a movie instead and would literally get laughed at. So, I knew I needed to make LOTS of drastic changes in my life, sadly even cutting off relationships with some people. But I had finally hit that sweet spot where I really understood and I finally GOT IT and I was willing to do anything and everything to please Him and be obedient. I needed to get my heart right and my lifestyle in good standing with Him.

I finally came to a place where I yielded my whole life to Him. I realized that when we truly have Christ upon our lives, our untamed and sinful natures are brought under His control. We no longer desire the things of the flesh above pleasing Him. My single loneliness would no longer trump my love for Him. I stopped going out, I stopped dating the wrong guys and started dating my beloved God. I fell in love with Him and started to dive into the Word so much that it was a part of my very being. I felt hungry and I had never felt that before. He was truly my best friend and the Father I respected and honored with every part of my life. I was no longer just His fan.

"Whoever loves pure thoughts and kind words will have even the King as a friend." Proverbs 22:11

If you are struggling with being one foot in and foot out, trust me, you are not ever too far gone for Him. Surrender it ALL to Him and be obedient to how He wants you to live. Will it be easy, nothing worth having ever is; you will probably lose some relationships, you will go through times of loneliness and the temptation will creep back in but you have to fight it. I would fight everything with the Word. I got lonely, I dove into my Bible and prayer. I started to feel left out from the big night out to celebrate someone's birthday, I dove into my Bible and prayer and celebrated my positive changes with my Father. Everything always went back to Him and that is the moment my whole life shifted. God started to really use me to minister to people, He started to give me vision of what my purpose was, He started to open doors to work in ministry and to love on others in a way that was so deep and meaningful. He finally trusted me to do His work.

Don't be just His fan. He wants SO much more for you and for your relationship with Him. We can't have true relationship with Him if we are hurting His heart every other weekend. Does He forgive us and love us even in that season, absolutely! But it doesn't mean He wants us to stay there! Time to surrender! Time to change! Time to stop being His fan and being His daughters and sons!

Permission To Not Fulfill Expectations

What a year my soul has had. It would be an understatement to say, I'm ready for 2017 to come. 2016 started off rough - we lost our precious baby on January 4th and I couldn't have been more devastated. My faith was tested and stretched. I would love to say the rest of the year has been amazing....but I can't, it has been miraculous. Not in the everything turned out great, life is going wonderful kinda way but in the my faith was tested and my spirit was stretched and grown kinda way. You see, on the outside this year has seemed terrible, horrible....traumatic one might say but in the spiritual and inner growth way, it's been the best year of my life! I have learned, I have grown....I.have.changed.

From loss, to breast cancer scare, to infertility, to stomach problems, to medical procedures, to heartache....to God. All to God. My heart has turned all to Him. I battled depression and still find myself having to be intentional about not going there. I have had to cling to God some nights so that I didn't drown in my own thoughts and He has been there. He's been there to teach me, to grow me....to comfort me.

Recently I went through a time of grieving the relationships I let down in my year of roller coaster. I was carrying guilt like no other. I let friends down, I backed off certain projects so that I could breathe and grieve, I wasn't there for people when maybe I should have been.....and I started to feel a tremendous amount of guilt. This guilt weighed on me for some days. Until God....

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Proverbs 17:17

The night before last, I woke up with a heaviness on my heart and a pain in my stomach.....the guilt had returned. I walked downstairs and had a glass of milk as this tends to help my tummy these days. I sat on the recliner and I felt the Lord send me to Proverbs 17:17. I read it and weeped. You see, I had been feeling so terribly guilty for allowing my own depression to keep me from being the best friend I can be but the Lord wanted to show me, I was in a season of need. He wanted to remind me that I too need a strong friend from time to time who will not expect anything from me and just let me be in this season. I have needed to have the room to be late to functions, reschedule.....or even cancel because I can't seem to muster up the energy to even fix my hair let alone brush my teeth and look half way decent. I have needed the room to fail BIG and produce small. I have needed a season of zero expectations from people around me and I had to come to terms with that being OK and that I needed to have zero expectations of myself as well. In this season, it's ok.

I have learned so much about myself and my relationships have been tested and stretched this whole year and I'm SO thankful for that. God has revealed so much beauty to me and has given me permission to "just be" in this season. I'm so truly thankful for a God who makes ALL things beautiful and who takes our guilt and turns it around! I'm thankful for the friends who allowed me to just be this year. I'm thankful for the ones who have allowed me to fail with no judgment, no anger or rejection. I'm thankful to those who pulled me in closer by giving me the space and breathing room I needed to emotionally and physically heal. I'm truly thankful for this unconditional kind of love I received from true, inspiring and amazing family and friends!

My promise to you, I too will give you this space and time if you are ever in a season where you just need "to be". My compassion meter has been elevated and I get it!

Friendship is beautiful but it's so true when they say you find out who your real friends are when you are going through troubles. Thank You Jesus for this revelation. Thank You for giving me permission to not live up to other people's expectations. Thank You Jesus for not expecting anything of me this season but a complete surrender and trust in You.

Praying For A Best Friend

I don't know about you all but when it comes to best friends, I don't want just any best friend but I want a spiritual best friend. A spiritual best friend is one who is committed to walking through life's ups and downs with you and who is committed to help you grow in God! A spiritual friend is somebody who in the midst of problems, stops everything to reach out and pray with you and who makes an effort to understand you.

This past year has stretched and grown me so much.I see so many things differently. The miscarriage taught me about the reality of hopes and dreams being taken from out of our grasp in a blink of an eye. It brought a phenomenal trust in God that I cannot put into words. My plans are not His plans and I'm so thankful for that. He knows what I need and when I need it and even in the deep pain, I must trust Him.

My recent health issues have taught me patience and courage. The scare of a breast nodule and getting mammograms and breast ultrasounds shook me to my core but I had a peace throughout the whole process. Maybe it was discerning that everything would be ok and that the nodule was not cancerous or maybe it was the trust I have built up in Him over the past few months. I'm not sure what it was but it was amazing. I felt His love in a big way and I saw His hand working in every detail of my health issues.

I have seen His hand vividly this past year. I would never ever want to relive this year again but I don't regret it for one second nor would I change one thing. The pain and frustration were real but so was His love. His love has been the only thing that has literally saved my life this past year. His love is what reached out to me in my moments of despair and brought me out of the pit of depression. This year has grown me so much and my relationship with God has grown leaps and bounds!

I love people deeper and truly see the beauty in every single person in my life. Just two months ago, I can sadly say, that wasn't me. Trauma and health scares have brought me to a place of peace with myself that leads me to a place of peace with others. I used to be critical of myself and of others but I have realized that life is too short for that and people are too important. I think of all of my friends and want to embrace each of them and I anticipate the new friends because those friends will be getting the best of me from the get go (sorry oldies, nothing personal.....it just took me some time and heartache to get here).

I say all this to say that I am extremely happy where I am in life right now. I know without a shadow of doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Right now in this moment, I am extremely grateful for an amazing husband who is above and beyond all of my prayers. I'm thankful for a job that allows me to serve others and help build the Kingdom of God. I'm also thankful for this longing for a spiritual friendship. It's this deep longing to connect with one friend, a best best best friend. Scripture tells us that a friend will stick closer than a brother.....wow, closer than our own blood. I want the kind of friend that scripture talks about, one who sticks closer than a brother. Don't get me wrong, I have AMAZING friends who are lifers and will always be forever besties to me but I miss having that one friend who is without a shadow of doubt, my BEST FRIEND.

When I think of that friend that is described in scripture, I think of the sister who a gal talks to every single day. They text, call, facetime and email everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that they are not in communication. I think of the sister who is fully committed to growing in Christ and who will be the one to encourage, hold accountable and cheer the other on. I think of sisters who are fully committed to communicating and committing to understand one another, even when it's hard to understand one another and especially when the waves are rocky. I miss that in my life and it's crazy but I didn't know it was missing until I built a love in my heart that's ready for deep and honest spiritual friendship.

One might ask, what about your husband? My husband is AMAZING and is definitely my best friend but.....he's definitely not a sister. He doesn't understand the importance of needing the dress that's on sale or that I can't wear a t-shirt to dinner with his parents or why I have a long bed time routine of face washing, hair grooming and teeth whitening and he especially doesn't understand my need to know how to put on false eye lashes. God made husbands and I'm SO thankful for that.....but He also created us for relationships with friends who stick closer than a brother. Tonight, I pray for my best friend. I used to pray for my husband and God brought me the most AMAZING husband ever! I know through the relationship I have with my husband that He will be faithful in bringing me a friend that will stick closer than a sister.

If you are lonely for a friend that will stick closer than a brother or sister tonight, close your eyes and pray for him or her. Trust that God has placed that desire in your heart for a reason and that it is not silly. It's not silly at all to desire the kind of friendship scripture teaches us about. He is a faithful God and He created you for real connection with others! I'm praying for my best friend tonight. I don't know who she is or what she is doing but I pray that God is guiding her, protecting her and loving on her tonight!

Love Without You

This morning in my Bible study, God gave me this quote that I couldn't shake off until I wrote it down, "We can never truly love others until we truly can see past ourselves." God is so amazing how He works 'cause shortly after I wrote that quote down, I ran across this scripture:

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus."Philippians 2:1-5

Is that confirmation that He was truly speaking to me, or what? As I read this scripture a flood of different emotions filled my spirit; joy, anger, sadness, confusion, happiness, thankfulness....all went through me at once. Why would I feel all of these emotions? I'lll share because maybe you can relate! I felt joy in the thought of being united with Christ and finding comfort in His love. Anger that sometimes when I need tenderness and compassion that it isn't given to me by others. Sadness that sometimes I, myself, do not value others above myself. Happiness and thankfulness at the thought that even though I fail in this every single day, God still beacons me to have the same mindset as He. He doesn't beacon me to this because He thinks I'm this great human being that has super powers but because He knows He designed me perfectly. He knows that in my heart of hearts, I have a heart that beats as His own and blood that flows through my veins as His. 

So many times we get caught up in our own story, in our own feelings and in our own thoughts that we forget to love like Him. We forget that somebody is hurting, somebody is grieving, somebody is battling real battles that mean something to them. I'm learning this. I'm learning that my own story isn't all that's going on in the world. Somewhere somebody has just lost a parent or a sibling. Somewhere somebody's husband has committed adultery and has abandoned the family. Somewhere a child is hungry and sick with nobody to love them or care for them. There is hurt and tragedy all around us and all I know to do is to love without limits and love without boundaries because the world needs it! The world needs it now more than ever!

We have to learn to love without our own issues in the mix.....we have to love because God loves. We have to be intentional about seeing others the way God sees them. His love is so selfless and inspiring that I can't help but desire His heart. Today, I encourage you to love with a God heart! 

When I Stretch, He Stretches

God, what an amazing Father we have. I have never been able to wrap my mind around how much He loves us and embraces us. It takes a humble heart to reach out to Him and seek Him. I was asked not too long ago what made me think God was real because when she has been in trouble, He was no where to be seen. I sat down and asked her if she told Him she needed Him and she replied with "no, if He is God then He should know I need Him but He never comes."

This is often people's reaction to God not just rescuing us when we need rescuing. The truth is God is a gentle God and He only comes when we invite Him in. I'm not sure why this is so hard for us to grasp. Sadly, this is the very thing that keeps others from reaching out to Him and saying, "God, I NEED you so much. Please come." There's this pride that sets in our very spirit that expects Him to just know we need Him and we expect Him there right then because we deserve it. Sadly, He does know but we never invite Him to come and our pride keep us from Him.

When we humble ourselves to the need our soul has of Him is when God reveals His presence the most. We might get His whispers and tiny nudges but man, when we earnestly seek Him, He becomes more active in our lives than we can even imagine. When we stretch out to Him is when He will stretch out to us the most! Thank you Daddy for being a gentle Father and loving me so patiently and boldly!

A Prayer For Wives

This morning I was in the Word and spending time with God and as I was praying for my husband I just felt a heaviness on me. The burden in my heart caused me to intercede for wives in this generation. The world tries to teach us that even in marriage, we as women are "independent" and "have our own mind". These things are true but the world twists it and causes many women to lose respect and honor in their husband and marriage. I wanted to share some things to pray for if you are a woman striving to be the best Godly wife you possibly can be! You are called to be a loving and kind wife who prepares her home for her family! It's in each of us and we can only do it with Him.

Dear Lord,

Give me a heart that views my husband the way you view Him. Give me your heart for him and teach me how to respect and honor him, especially during the times he has failed me or our marriage.

Help me to be an honoring wife that you are proud of. I desire for you to look at me and smile because you know that I am loving your son with the best heart and with a heart that lives for you and only you.

Help me to place my husbands needs, dreams and desires above my own. Help me to let go of resentment when things do not go my way and to trust that decisions are based on the family as a whole and not just me or not just him. Help me to speak up with love and respect when I need to and to stay quiet when I need to.

Help me to take care of our home and run it well. Help me to strive everyday to make our home a place of peace, joy and comfort. Let our home be the one place that my husband feels safe in.

Help me to keep myself healthy and strong for my husband. Help me to desire to look nice for him and to dress modest around others. I never want to leave my husband questioning whose attention I am trying to capture when I walk out the door, so give me discernment on items of clothing that are not pleasing to you Father.

Help me to speak wisely and kind at home, outside of the home, to others and about others. Give me a gentle heart that flows through my tongue and always speaks love and encouragement. Guide me to have a speech that always exhibits who you are in me. Help me to live out Ephesians 4:32 daily dear Lord.

Thank you for the gift of marriage and for allowing me to be the wife of your amazing son.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

Does God Care About How I Dress?

Hi!  My name is Cryssie and I am a Christian woman! I'm not just a Christian woman but I am a Christian woman that truly desires to please my Heavenly Father! I want to please Him with everything in my life; how I speak, walk, what I eat, my intentions and yes, even how I dress.  

The first thing people see when they look at me is not whether I have a good heart or if I love the Lord with all of my heart and soul but they see how I am dressed. The first glimpse of how much or how little I honor God is in my honor to Him with my outside appearance. Like it or not ladies, this is truth.

I think some people feel like God might not care how we dress and that's partly true. He really doesn't care about the latest fashion trend but scripture tells us that He does care about modesty. I believe that it hurts our amazing Father when the way we are dressed opens the door for lust in a man's mind. Do I think it's a woman's fault if a man looks at her in a lustful way, no of course not. We are only in control of our own sin and our own choices. Yes, it's true that a man should be able to control his own thoughts and mind and the responsibility is his and his alone but scripture also teaches us that as brothers and sisters in Christ that we are not to help our brothers and sisters stumble.

"But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak." 1 Corinthians 8:9

Modesty is a form of worshiping our Father and I believe this whole heartedly. It's also an indication of where our heart really is and if we are sensitive to sin. I think this is also true for how we show love to our brothers and sisters. Especially in the church setting. As women, we should be asking ourselves if the way we are dressed is allowing all of a man's attention to be on God. Could a short tight skirt take the attention off of God, of course it could. We are all sinners and we have to look out for our brothers knowing that our way of dress could totally be taking the attention off of God and onto ourselves and causing a brother to stumble by an act of lust. There are also young eyes out there watching older Godly women. It's time we start asking ourselves, "what is my behavior teaching the younger generation?" A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for her Father and for her brothers and sisters in Christ. 

“I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.“ 1 Timothy 2:8-10

In this scripture Paul is teaching us that women should adorn ourselves in a respectable way. I like how he uses the word "respectable". As Christian women, we should be respecting ourselves with how we dress and how we behave. The way we carry ourselves should reflect that of modesty and self-control. 

Let modesty be an act of the heart and an act of love. God may not care about what the latest fashion trend is but He truly does care about how we see ourselves. My challenge for you each day is to ask yourself these four questions before you leave your home:

1. Is my outfit honoring God and others by showing that I honor my body?
2. Could my outfit cause a man to stumble today? Am I showing too much leg? Is it too tight? And if you ever put something on and have no idea if it is appropriate, if you are married ask your husband or if you are single or hubby isn't home, take snapshot of it on your phone and send it to a trusted Godly friend and ask her. Have an accountability partner for this specific thing.
3. Does my outfit tell God and others that I adorn and respect myself?
4. Is my outfit teaching younger ladies that modesty is beauty?

I will close with this awesome defination of modesty by Luke Gilkerson, "modesty is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a hatred of sin and a desire to draw attention to God." 

Where Does Your Validation Come From?

"If you have an argument with your neighbor, don't tell other people what was said.  Whoever hears it might shame you, and you might not ever be respected again."  Proverbs 25:10

Wow, talk about conviction for me this morning.  Last night I had some girlfriends over and I innocently told them about an encouter I had with another woman.  It was one where I felt she had done something that was not very nice and I haven't been able to release it.  I was explaining to my friends that I was having a hard time with forgiveness.  Well, instead of just leaving it at that, I needed to get validation from them that it was ok for me to be upset and unforgiving.  Not only was I carrying bitterness towards this other lady but NOW I just added more to that sin.

I am learning more and more that asking for prayer is GREAT!  It shows that we trust our brothers and sisters in Christ.  However, we need to make sure we are speaking of only our sin and not going into the problem and stumble into gossiping.  We don't need validation from others that it's "ok" to be upset.  Our validation comes from the Lord and He will give us peace and He will make all things right and good.  When we seek that validation from others, sin follows.  But when we seek that validation from our Father, healing and grace follows.

Be Peace

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you made some wrong choices? What did you do in that moment or after the fact?  Did you repent?  If other people were involved, did you seek forgiveness?  Did you admit to God, yourself, and others your wrong doings? 

"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." James 4:17

It's hard to humble ourselves and admit our wrong doings and it is also hard to humble ourselves and ask others or even God for forgiveness.  Admitting we are wrong makes our pride wall go up and we do not want to put it down!  We are afraid that others will view us badly or look down at us.  We tend to get so concerned with the judgement of people that we forget who's judgement can destroy a land.  God's wrath is real and He still holds people accountable for actions.

Peace is connected to humbleness and when we can humble ourselves to others and to even ourselves, wow, the peace that follows that humbleness is amazing! God honors the moments in life when we can humble ourselves, admit our wrongs, and seek forgiveness. He shows us grace and allows a shift to happen in our lives.  He allows growth and change to happen in us and this growth empowers us to do life differently.  That one moment of humbleness and repentance can change our whole lives forever!!

Never underestimate the power small moments have in our lives.  A small moment of ego; whether it is trying to prove you are right and somebody else is wrong, or refusing to admit your wrongdoings, or putting blame on other people and not allowing yourself to grow in a situation are small moments that if not handled Godly, can keep us stagnant in life.  These moments and small events in our life are HUGE!  God doesn't care about our reputation as much as He cares about our character.  He will use these moments to evaluate where our heart really is and if we are ready for His movement in our lives.

A small incident or event in our life where we do not show humbleness and shadow our wrongs with ego and immaturity WILL have a lasting effect on our journey!  When we encounter grace and humbleness, we can't help but to change inside and to open the doors to God's goodness.  The grace of God empowers us to be radically changed but we have to step aside from ourselves. We have to be willing to release the ego and allow our hearts to be kind, honest, and pure.  

What is holding you back from that freedom?  Is it a small argument with a friend or a family member?  Somebody within your church family?  Is it a reaction to a spouse or a child? What decisions whether big or tiny are keeping you from God's complete goodness in your life? Ask Him, pray about it and follow His lead.  Do not let arrogance, fear, or ignorance keep you from doing what is right!  Obedience is not easy but it is worth it!

What is the soul of your existence?  If it's Jesus then be love today.  Be humble. Be graceful.  Be kind.  Be peace. 

He Was Adopted By Him

I'm so thankful for the people in my life.  I'm thankful for the women who pour into me and help me to be the woman of God He created me to be!!  The past month has been such an awesome month of growth!  What started out to be a season of pain, anger, confusion, and grief..... has turned out to be a season of so much beauty in my life.  The things of God that I have experienced in this season is breathtaking!  Losing my baby boy was tragic and painful but I KNOW he is being raised by the truly number one Daddy, our Heavenly Father!  What a blessing for him, right!?  He is going to be playing catch with Him and be raised by Him.  He will also be able to see loved ones who have passed on before us.  I imagine my grandmother making him tortillas and eggs right now and telling him, "this is how your mother liked her eggs when she was a child."  I imagine my cousins, Raul and Rachel, sharing fun stories of our growing up.  Oh what a ball they will have in heaven and one day, I will get to join them!  Until then, I will hold on to the blessing and honor of being his mommy!  

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."  Ephesians 1:5

Ephesians 1:5 tells us that He took great pleasure in adopting us.  Wow!  If He takes great pleasure in adopting us when we are sinful here on earth, I can't even imagine the pleasure He has in adopting unborn babies who do not have one drop of sin in them!  

"But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14

Do I still hurt and yearn to hold that baby of mine?  Absolutely!  But I am comforted with knowing that he is being held by the ultimate Father!