Love Is Thoughtful And Caring

"Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship." 

"Love thinks before speaking.  It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness."


Recently I have learned that encouragement and support are both just as important in any relationship as love and loyalty are.  We must learn to bring balance into our relationships and that includes making sure we are meeting other's needs in all aspects as best as we can.  

Great relationships come from great thinking and it is important to be mindful of what the other is going through outside the relationship and to express concern and support in those other parts of their life. Too many times we are selfish with our thinking.  We are only thinking about what WE are going through or how somebody else made US feel and never take a moment to think about what that person might be going through.  What kind of battles are they dealing with and instead of taking offense, we should reach out and care.

Being thoughtful can range from words of encouragement, words of affirmation, to small gestures to let the other know they are important.  It's one of those things that does not take much time.  Showing somebody that you care is vital to a thriving relationship.  Being selfish and never taking time out to take an extra step to show somebody they are special is dangerous and can be a silent killer in your relationships.  Everybody wants to feel special and though of, everybody!  

Today I dare you to be thoughtful!

Love Is Not Selfish

So the past month has been a very up and down month and in the midst of it all I have realized my relationship with God is there but it isn't as deep as I want it to be or as it should be. I have kept Him in my life but I certainly lost my focus on Him.  I have really began to realize a lot of things about myself and the battle has been a tough one this week. I never viewed myself as selfish and I don't think that I am....I can be just like everybody else but I don't believe it is a characteristic I can claim. I realized that me holding on so tight to trying NOT to be selfish for so long has been selfish. Might not make sense but I try so hard to make sure everybody in my life is happy that I tend to forget about my own hopes and dreams and desires. I have really needed some time with God to sort through some feelings and most of all forgive. I spent the day today letting go of some anger and unforgiveness and I realize that sometimes when we forget about ourselves we are being selfish to our God who desires us to be happy. We hold what we really want at an arm's length in order not to offend others or "cross the line". I think in my time of thinking about "selfishness" I realized that I have been super selfish to God. He has blessed me with so many gifts that I have put them on the back burner in order to keep other's happy. I tuck the desires of my heart deep down inside to where I don't even know what they are anymore....desires of my heart that I have had for many years. So, maybe I am not selfish in the worldly way but I have definitely been selfish in the spiritual realm. I don't give enough of my time to Him and I have stopped living for the desires He placed in my heart a long time ago. 

I used to wake up every morning and have a Bible Study and spend my morning seeking Him and His guidance for the day. I used to be so happy and feel so blessed and lately I have realized that I spend more time trying to figure out why others aren't happy and trying to fix them and their misery. It has finally been revealed to me that I can't fix anybody and I cannot take the responsibility any longer for somebody else's unhappiness or inability to see the blessings they have in their own life. I can't. I have to keep my focus on Him and all I can do is pray for those around me who need an eye opener to what life really is about.

Life is beautiful and even though it is so hard sometimes..... even during the hard times we can reach out to our God and reach out to the people He has placed in our lives to help make this time on earth a better time. We have the ability to find the joy and peace in any situation, good and bad. We have the ability to balance the important things in our lives and not let the important people slip away. Yes, we should give and yes we should always put others first BUT not at the expense of losing ourselves and losing what God intended for US to be as individuals. That isn't what He means when He wants us to be selfless. I hope to move forward from this awakening but for now, I think I need some more time in prayer and focusing on the topic at hand. I need to figure out where I am leading my heart and if God is my guide for where I am leading it or if I am allowing other's lead it for me. I have spent too much time living in a dark place trying to fix somebody else's misery.

I finally have realized that it isn't ok for me to allow others to continue to hurt me because they are hurting inside. I do forgive but I will also guard my heart better. Sometimes people are not what they seem and it is a hard blow when your eyes are opened wide and you are hit with the truth. It is amazing how somebody can appear to be so amazing only to realize that they have their own selfish issues to work through and it is not something my anger or unforgiveness will ever fix for them. It is something they need to see on their own. Just like I did. I was once that selfish clueless person and I had to learn with the help of God who I really was and become who I really wanted to be.

So selfish, it isn't always about being selfish to the world or people around you.....sometimes it is being selfish to yourself. We have to love ourselves before we can love anybody else. I can no longer be selfish to my God or to myself. God wants balance in our lives and He certainly does not want us standing in the middle of other's anger and foolishness taking an emotional beating. I'm taking my life back and remembering who I am and who I have come so far to be. The pain isn't worth it anymore and it's simply not ok anymore.  

The Battle Is Real - Armor Up

When I hear the word "blessing", I think of love, friendship, family, happiness.....and all the positive words that make our lives happy.  I rarely think of character or the lessons that God teaches us or the virtues that make our character.  As I was doing my morning Bible Study I started to think of four virtues that are SO important during this time of spiritual warfare.  

The first one is discernment.  I pray for discernment almost every day.  I have always had a hard time with discerning if a command is of God or of my own mind or heart.  Ask and you shall receive....God has been working on me significantly and I find myself more and more being able to discern things.  We must be able to discern what is really going on in a situation, what people are feeling, and what is important.  Choices are hard to make in the midst of confusion and we will always make the wrong decisions if we cannot discern and be sensitive to His voice.

The second one is courage.  I never realized how important it is to have courage.  Used to, when I heard that word, I thought of a courageous man and didn't think I needed to have courage.  That was a man's job to be courageous.  I just needed to be dainty and cute.  I have recently learned that women must have courage too and probably are even known to have MORE courage than a man.  Without courage our mothers wouldn't have been able to care for us when times were hard, when their marriage was having tough times yet mothering must go on, or when we were sick and it was hurtful to watch her own child in pain.  It was their courage who raised us.  Courage is the power to do well and to keep going when the air is turbulent and the going gets tough.  It is having the character to do well and keep going when things are painful.  It is the power to keep doing well and keep going in the face of a threat to our future or to the things we hold dear to our hearts.  It is courage that will get us through the hardest of times.

The third one is temperance.  It is to have the ability to take control of what goes on inside by giving all the control to God.  It is the ability to not allow circumstances, substances, or others control us or control the emotions stirring up inside.  It's realizing that we have choices and that we must follow our hearts and have the courage to make a choice, even if it is an unpopular one or a choice that others might not understand. 

The forth virtue is one that I hold closest and dearest to my heart, and that is patience.  It is so easy to get caught up in what we want right now that we forget that God has His perfect timing.  He knows the desires of our hearts and He also knows the outcome if He were just to hand us those desires with no work or lessons or journey.  If we just got everything we wanted when we wanted it, there would be no appreciation or genuine joy.  Sometimes we aren't quite ready for our desires to be fully given to us and He wants to take us through a journey to prepare us and mold us.  Patience is one of the biggest and most important virtues in my opinion.  Patience brings peace and it gives God the time and opportunity to work in us! 

Life is so full of ups and downs and changes from day to day.  One day we can be on top of the world and the next day, everything just falls to pieces.  It is so important to be prepared and armored for Satan's attacks.  He doesn't give up just because we are happy and life is going great.  No, that is when he attacks harder.  He hates to see children of God happy and he hates to see unity and love in relationships.  So armor up, fight back with the help of God, and tell Satan that your cup WILL overflow with blessings!

If I Could Tell Singles One Thing..... It Would Be......

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking after I was asked a specific question the other night when having dinner with some girlfriends.  While biting into my salad, my girlfriend looked over at me and asked, "if you could tell women one thing about men, what would it be?"  I finished chewing and looked at her and said, "I haven't the slightest idea. Wouldn't it be easier to just let them learn their own lessons?  I mean every male and every lesson is unique in it's own."  She said, "eh, guess so."  Of course this sparked a good hour of man bashing and fantastic female bonding.  

As each girl shared their story of heartache and lessons learned, I thought to myself, what if we all listened to one another and didn't make ourselves learn the "hard way".  I know that is not reality.  For some reason as humans we have this burning desire to do what we know is wrong or bad for us and hope we learn a valuable lesson from it at the end.  

I thought about my own lessons and my own mistakes and I realize that back in my early and mid 20s, a lot of my heartache was brought on from myself.  Sure, I can blame the guy all day long but the bottom line is, I knew I was being treated badly, but I stayed anyway.  My fault!  Not his.  All he did was take the green light I gave him to continue his behavior.  Why would a selfish guy to begin with, change for somebody who is allowing him to be selfish?  Duh!  

Shouldn't I have known where I stood when he would never really go out of his way for me?  Shouldn't I have known when he would always want me to spend holidays with him and his family but would never sacrifice a holiday from his family to spend one with mine in Texas.  The answer I would get is, "it's not my fault your family lives in Texas." Oh but it certainly was an argument when I wanted to go home instead of to his family's house and I would get the guilt question, "I thought we were going to spend the holidays together?"  Uhhh....ok, so that means I have to ALWAYS be the one to sacrifice MY family....yup!  Selfish, did I listen to that huge red flag? No, I didn't.  I could go on and on and on with red flags....not even just from one specific boyfriend but from all in the past.  It's amazing how being treated like a princess is so different than being treated like second choice to....well everything.  

So, if I could tell single women and men one thing about love, it would be, "have confidence in yourself and confidence in the fact that you deserve to be treated like royalty and in first place at all times.  You deserve true, amazing, fantastic, breathtaking love and YES, it does exist."  Have confidence and KNOW that if you aren't being treated the very best by a man or a woman that there IS somebody out there who WILL treat you the right way.  Who will love you and cherish you.  Every person deserves to have somebody by their side totally and completely.  Every person deserves to have somebody who will always be by their side especially when in need, who will sacrifice equally in the relationship, who will put you and the relationship first, every person deserves to be with somebody who brings out the BEST in them and not the worst, and most of all who you never have to question if they truly love you.  So many men and women lower their standards for somebody who doesn't show them top notch treatment.  The relationship begins to lower our self-esteem and we begin to think that the good ones are all gone or that they just don't exist OR even worse..... we don't deserve real, genuine, blow your mind, once in a lifetime, amazing, phenomenal love.  Well, I'm here to tell you, they do exist and they ARE out there and you DO deserve it!  

Never settle and always walk away if even an ounce of you feels like you could do better.  Chances are, you can!

A Mother's Heart

So, I had a dream last night and it involved my Mom and a filing cabinet. I was visiting my Mom and she had left the room for a moment. I noticed a bright red filing cabinet in the corner that I had never seen before. Something prompted me to walk over to it and open it. I kept hesitating as I did not want to be snooping in my Mom's personal things but something kept prompting me to open it. So, I finally gave in and I opened it. Inside were tons of files, "Crystal's first hand prints", "Crystal's first day of school",  "Crystal's hospital visits", "Crystal's heart murmur and how to keep her healthy", "Crystal's first crush", "Crystal's first sleep over with her friends", "Crystal's first Jr. High friend argument", "Crystal's first boyfriend", "Crystal's first heart break", "Crystal's first job", "Crystal's first day of college", "Crystal's heart break from Rachel's death", "Crystal moving to Arkansas" and the files went on and on and on. I remember going through the titles of each file saying to myself, "has my Mom gone mad? What is this all about?" I opened the file that was titled "Crystal's first heartbreak". Inside I would find pictures of him and me... happy. I would find all the gifts he had given me throughout our courtship, including crushed roses that I had kept from the day he had proposed to me. I also found the engagement ring he had given me along with a note from my Mom asking God, "please heal my baby girl's heart and help her to find love again someday." I couldn't believe it. I started to cry as my Mom walked in and caught me with my hands in her filing cabinet. She walked over to me and hugged me and that's when I woke up. 

I thought about that dream all morning and then I realized, God was telling me how every joy, every tear, every heartbreak, problem, milestone is filed away in my mother's heart. From good to bad.....it is there, in her heart. I want to honor my Mom today. Only a Mom can love a another human being this much. Only a Mother can be so strong when they watch us fall and wish they could take our pain away. Only a Mother can cherish our accomplishments so dearly. So, Mom, we haven't always seen eye to eye but thank you for loving me no matter what. I know every moment of my life is filed away in your heart and I am so blessed to have somebody that loves me so much! I love you Mom!

Day Three - Tell us about life and a change that you would like to make.

Life is pretty awesome at the moment!!

This week was a great week at work.....I get to spend all day with these ladies..... so of course work is fun and joy packed all day everyday!

I enjoyed lots of time with family!  From family dinner, to manicure with my cousin, to watching my sweet little cousin play softball!

Can't forget time with my sweet Daisy Dog!

I wouldn't change much about life.  God is good and He is providing an amazing life for me full of joy and happiness.  The only thing I would change would be car shopping.....been car shopping for about a month now and I can't seem to make up my mind.  I'm not sure if it's that I don't know what car I want or if I'm just terrified of a car payment.  haha..... we'll see what happens!  Stay tuned.  :)

Day Two ~ Tell us who the last person is that you spoke to on the phone and your history with them.

The last person I spoke with on the phone was my lovely sissy!!!!!

Day 1 Of Awesomeness - But First Let Me Take a Selfie

1. Post a current pic of yourself , tell us what you did today, and put your ipod on shuffle and give us the first 15 songs that come on.

  IPOD Shuffle

1.  Strong By London Grammar

2.  We Are By Kari Jobe

3.  Great I Am Bye Phillips, Craig & Dean

4.  Healer By Kari Jobe 

5.  Find You On My Knees By Kari Jobe

6.  Super Bass By Nicki Minaj 

7.  City On Our Knees By Toby Mac

8.  I Luh Ya Papi By JLo

9.  Lovely By Sara Haze

10.  Billie Jean By Michael Jackson

11.  Best Thing I Never Had By Beyonce

12.  The Lord Our God By Passion

13.  Marry You By Bruno Mars

14.  She's Like Texas By Josh Abbott Band

15.  Ditty By Paperboy

Five Days Of Awesomeness

1. Post a current pic of yourself , tell us what you did today, and put your ipod on shuffle and give us the first 15 songs that come on.

2. Tell us who the last person is that you spoke to on the phone and your history with them.

3. Tell us about life and a change that you would like to make.

4. Tell us the last movie you watched and your favorite movie.

5. Tell us about the book you are reading now or the last book you read.

God Still Parts Red Seas

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6


The children of Israel spent 400 years as slaves and when they were finally set free, the first thing they ran into was the Red Sea. There were overwhelming mountain ranges on both sides of them, the sea in front of them and behind them, the Egyptian army.  Pharaoh had changed his mind about letting them go and sent the Egyptian army in pursuit to retrieve them.  It appeared that the children of Israel were trapped.

To them, it seemed like it was over.  Where would they go?  What would they do?  However, God knew exactly what He would do. He could see what they could not see and He had designed this scene perfectly. In God's amazing splendor, He opened the Red Sea and they walked through to safety. Years later, the Israelites looked back and sang, "Your road led by a pathway through the sea—a pathway no one knew was there!" (Psalm 77:19). 

What circumstances are you in right now that are making you feel like there is no escape and no where to turn? What Red Sea lies ahead of you and you just don't know how you will make it across without drowning?  You might be facing some serious hard times right now - finances are questionable, emotions are high, relationships are falling apart, children are misbehaving, jobs are overwhelming and the Red Sea ahead of you looks impossible to cross.  Just wait.  He is finding a way to part that Red Sea for you now.  

"The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining brighter till the full light of day"  Proverbs 4:18

As we go through life, we run across good times and bad times.  Sometimes we shout for joy and other times our devastation takes lead and our joy takes a back seat.  Faith keeps us going through those difficult times.  We do not see the big picture but God does.  God understands our walk and He allows certain things to happen so we can learn and grow in Him.  Sometimes we have to take a painful turn in order to get back on His will for our lives. We can ask questions but we might not get the answers right away.  Sometimes it takes years before we are able to look back and say "now I know what you were up to God, thank you."  

Proverbs 3 tells us to not lean on our own understanding.  Acknowledge His ways and have faith.  Trust Him to part that Red Sea in front of you.  Sometimes He might need us to stand in front of it for a while but He will always walk us through it when it's time.  He can see the end result.  Maybe things are not clear to us now but be patient, they will be.