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God Will Lead And I Will Follow You

"If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose part of your body and live forever than to have two hands and two feet and be thrown into the fire that burns forever."  Matthew 18:8

Here lately I have been questioned about my decision to "cut off" some friendships and relationships. I have been criticized for this decision.  People telling me that it is me being judgemental or not giving others the love that God has given me.  I beg to differ.  I am cutting off "relationships" not cutting off the love.  Some people, I have chosen to love them from a distance.  I'm still praying for them but choosing to remove myself from dangerous relationships that have led me back to sin or back into a lifestyle I have worked so hard to stay away from.  This decision does not mean I do not love them anymore.  It just means that I am going on a different path and the path I'm on is very narrow.....there is no room for failure or sin.  As far as my love....my love for people in my past will always be in my heart and certainly in my prayers.  I do not wish anybody ill will and I pray for lifestyles and decisions to be changed and for new life to form in others.  I do this because I know what it is like to live in a world of darkness and sin.  I know what it is like to walk a very wide path with all the room in the world for toxic relationships and lots of sin. I also know what it is like to be delivered from all of the chaos.   

It is human nature for us to fall into sin if we are around it all the time.  Monkey see, monkey do, right?

"Do not be fooled, bad friends will ruin good habits."  1 Corinthians 15:33

This is true for me and I admit it, I'm not strong enough to stay out of temptations way once I am surrounded by it.  I'm weak.  I'm human.  I need Jesus.  We all have our own convictions and we each have a responsibility to do what we can to live out God's will for our lives.  

"You are not the same as those who do not believe.  So do not join yourselves to them.  Good and bad do not belong together.  Light and darkness cannot share together."  2 Corinthians 6:14

Notice the word "join".  This doesn't say do not "love" them  or do not "pray" for them or do not "set a good example" for them.  This says "join".  Loving others who are down a wide path does not mean we have to put ourselves in harms way or put our own salvation and own convictions at risk.  We each have a duty to be able to balance out this love for the lost.  Whether we like it or not our hearts are affected by the hearts we surround ourselves with.  That is why is it so important to watch our company.  Unfortunately, we live in Satan's playground and he is always lurking around to steal, kill, and destroy.  With that being said, is your own conviction worth putting to the test just for the pure pleasure of being around others who can influence you in a negative way?  My answer to that question is "no", it is not worth it to me.  

Satan's lurking and waiting for opportunity.  

Sure I want to help spread the word of the Lord and I will do that with out being unequally yoked in my close relationships.  This decision isn't just about what is best for me either but what is best for somebody in my life who is lost.  If I know I cannot resist the temptation of drinking alcohol and getting drunk then what good does it do myself or the other person for me to put myself in that environment and backslide and then leave the lost even more confused.  Or worse, looking at me with disgust thinking how hypocritical "Christians" are, then are turned away from Christianity for good.  

Again, we each have our own convictions.  Drinking and bar hopping are mine.  I adore the thrill of meeting up with friends and getting that buzz and feeling like nothing in the world is bigger or better than me.  I love the thought of being out on a dance floor with a drink in my hand ready to party the night away.  The only problem with that adoration and love, is that I adore and love my God so much more.  The peace He has bestowed upon my life when I turned away from my sin is so immaculate and phenomenal.  

"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exalt in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness."  Isaiah 61:10

......and that my dear friends is so much more important to me than anything.  My relationship with God overrides any earthly relationship.

In God's perspective everything is black and white.  There are no gray areas.  In God's eyes we are either entering through the small gate or the wide gate, we are either traveling the narrow road or the wide road, we are either building on rock or building on sand, we are either wise or we are foolish, we are either prepared or unprepared, we are either fruitful or fruitless, and we are either Heaven called or hell bound.  Why do so many of us Christians live in the gray area when there is no gray area?  Why do so many of us live with one foot in the world and one foot with God.  It doesn't work like that.  We have to make the choice to live for God.  

My journey with God requires me to be aware of my convictions and my temptations and do what I can to put my relationship with Him first, ABOVE all other relationships.  It requires me to seek Him and His guidance for my life.  It requires me to have faith that I can and will live a pure and clean life for Him.  It requires me to know that I have both feet with Him and not one dangling in the world waiting for satan to come up and grab it and pull me back into his world.  Nothing is worth that risk.  Nothing.

Once A Red Raider....ALWAYS A Red Raider

My cousin Sarah graduated from Texas Tech in August.  It was an awesome day indeed!  We were so filled with pride for her!  She has worked very hard and is super smart so this day was pretty darn special for us all! I can't wait to see what the future holds for her!  It is definitely a blessing to watch her life unfold!

Isn't her cake the cutest!!??

This was also the first time that the family met Darin so it was a special day for him also!  Of course, they all loved him!  (I wasn't surprised at all)  :)

Outward Expression Of An Inward Faith - 11/02/2011

I recently found this old entry from my old blog about my Baptism three years ago. I thought I would share it for anybody wanting to get Baptized!! 

 It was a special day indeed! 

Outward Expression Of An Inward Faith - 11/02/2011

I haven't had a chance to write about my beautiful Baptism that took place at the beginning of the month.  Life has been so busy and honestly, it's about to get busier.  I do want to take some time out to share this beautiful experience with anybody taking the time out to read my blog. 

I had really struggled with getting Baptized because I wanted to make sure I was at a point that I can walk a good walk and be a Heavenly example for others.  No, we don't have to wait for this nor is there a "perfect timing" we have to wait for.  We can be Baptized the second we say we believe but for me.....that wasn't good enough.  So, I waited and waited and I finally felt like I was at a good point in my life that I was not carrying any more guilt for past sins and I was at a point where I know I am doing all I can to walk a good walk and be able to really set an amazing example for Christ.  Sometimes we are the only image of Christ that others see.  I wanted to make sure I would be a bright light and one that could really plant a seed for somebody else's salvation.

The day I was Baptized was the most amazing and special day of my life thus far.  I was so nervous and excited all day.  I was anxious and excited as I walked into Church.  As I stood in line waiting for my turn, I remember feeling His amazing peace come over me and I knew that at that moment, I was His and that I was exactly right in the middle of His will for my life.  I was exactly where He intended on me being at that very moment and the friends who came to support me are exactly the ones who are supposed to be in my life for their own special reasons.  I look back at the pictures from that night and I feel so amazingly blessed.  I have a story with each person that came to support me......a deep past with most of them and a future with all of them.  Friends that have helped me through good and bad times, friends who have helped in my walk with Christ in one way or another, were there watching me make my outward statement for Christ.  How amazing is that!!!!???

11/2/2011 is so far the greatest and most important day of my life.  I truly felt a new path and a new life the moment I was dipped into the water.  My past sins, old habits, mistakes of the past.....all cleansed and washed away.

God, you are SO amazing!!!!!  Thank you for Your Mercy and for Your AMAZING Blessings in my life!!!!!

I had so many amazing people by my side this day and forever grateful!!!!!  Each one of them hold a very special place in my heart! 

4th Of July And My First Family Reunion

So, I am way behind on catching you guys up on my "personal life".  Sorry about that....but here goes....

So, in July, I was able to spend the 4th with my wonderful family for our huge family reunion!  My cousin, Ramona, and her kiddos stayed with me and we had so much fun!  We enjoyed time at the lake and time with one another and it was AMAZING!

It was an eventful weekend full of different activities.

We played games...

And caught up with family members we haven't seen in a while.

The kids enjoyed so many activities and got to meet NEW cousins!!!  

There was dancing....

And just plain out family fun!!!!!!

We also had a moment of silence remembering our loved ones who have passed on.  We did a beautiful balloon release for them.  It was a beautiful moment indeed!

All and all it was an awesome weekend!  It was nice to spend time with the family and I FINALLY got to enjoy a family reunion!!!!!

Looking back on these pictures makes me smile and makes my heart super happy!!  I'm very blessed to have spent the time I did with my wonderful family!  Life is so short and time with loved ones is valuable!

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High Five For Friday ~ Thanksgiving, Frozen, and Christmas Oh My!

High Five For Friday One:

I am loving Thanksgiving Season.  The feeling of giving thanks is awesome!  People seem so much happier during this time of year and I just love it!!!  I painted my first Thanksgiving painting of the season tonight!  Tell me what ya think!?

Yeah Yeah, I know...... it's not the greatest BUT it's definitely cute and from the heart! :)

High Five For Friday Two:

Tonight was Trinity's Frozen Pajama night at Church!  We had so much fun!  Seeing our little sweet church girls have so much fun just made my heart so warm.  God was smiling down on them tonight!  They were adorable!

High Five For Friday Three:

I'm ready for a weekend of relaxing with my love and maybe a little bit of golf with the pops!

High Five For Friday Four:

This week was pretty peaceful and uneventful which is exactly how I love my life.  So, with that being said, it was a FANTASTIC week!

High Five For Friday Five:

Even though I am super excited about THANKSGIVING..... I have to admit, I did watch a few Christmas movies this week.  :)  I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!

No Opportunity Goes Wasted

I have really learned some valuable lessons the last couple of days. With friendships/relationships in general. God has really been working in my heart and I praise Him so much for the lessons He gives me. He never wastes these opportunities to grow us. I am learning to love with the grace and mercy He loves me with. His love is so perfect that I have no other choice but to try and live life and love people with that same grace and mercy! How amazing would this world be if we all had that type of devotion to one another? I had a friend minister to my heart today and she doesn't even know it. I reached out to her to help her thinking I was the one that had something to feed her....turned out that it was the other way around. God never misses an opportunity! NEVER! Thank you God for bringing the people in my life at the exact right moments. YOUR moments. 

God wants us to fight for Him, to be His mouth to speak with, His arms to love with, and His heart to show mercy and forgiveness with. We can't do that if our hearts are hardened to Him. His love and mercy are like no other and why shouldn't we spread that to others. We must work WITH Him to set the world on fire for Him! I'm so ready for the journey He is taking me on to really really start.....each day is a new door opened and each new person is a piece of Him brought into my life for some impacting moment! His timing is impeccable and everything about it is PERFECT! 

It is a wonderful day indeed when we stop working FOR God and begin working WITH God. Food for thought......

What We Become Is Our Gift To God

Today, I woke up with my Tia Ofelia (Sister Celine) on my mind.  I really need to plan a trip to see her soon.  She is an amazing woman and the closest to God's miracle that I have ever known. Her life and the obstacles she overcame are just a testimony to God's love for her and what He can do for us and through us if we just allow Him in our hearts. I'm so blessed to have her in my blood line!  Her life is a complete gift to God and to others!

For those of you who don't know much about my family line.....my biological grandfather passed away when my grandmother was pregnant with my Mom.  So, my Mom never met her biological father.  My great aunt is his only sibling and the only connection I have really ever had to my biological grandfather on my Mom's side.  The love my Great Aunt has for her brother (my grandfather) is exhibited by the love she shows to my Mom, my aunt, my cousins, and my sister and myself.  She loves us so much!!!!!!!  She makes me happy just thinking about her.  The picture below is a picture of three of the most important women in my life!!  I cherish this picture so much! It makes my heart happy to see all three of them together.  (my mommy is the one in the beautiful pink dress that my sissy, step-dad, and I gave her as a gift one year) Aren't they all beautiful and lovely!?!? :)  I'm truly blessed to have such amazing women in my life!

As I thought about my tia this morning, I thought about all that she has taught me.  The one thing she taught me is that no matter what life throws at us or what cards we were dealt in life, we always have a choice to become what God created us to become.  We always have a choice to be a good person who honors Him in all.  Her beauty surpasses any beauty I have ever known.  Her soul truly belongs to Him and it's seen in everything she does and in everything she says.  I can only hope to be a quarter of the gift to God that she has been for Him.  Because of her, I know that God loves me and has big plans for me!  She is the reason why I try my hardest to spread His word and His love.  She showed me that kind of love since I was a baby and it really made a BIG impact on my life.

I hope today you will go out and show somebody God's love and make an impact!  Let your life be a gift to God and let your light shine!

A Healthy Heart Lets Go

Here lately I have been battling my mitral valve prolapse symptoms again.  I had it under control for a while but somehow I allowed myself to let go of all that I had worked on for so long and start to feel the negative impact of it. I learned to eat healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle by drinking less sodas and more water and exercising more.   I learned to pray more and complain less and be who I wanted to be physically and spiritually. I spent many years learning and growing and developing into the woman of God I had always wanted to be.

Living in North West Arkansas allowed me to be on my own and find out what kind of person I wanted to be and who I wanted to be.  I learned how to make amazing friends and maintain those amazing friendships.  I really got a grasp of all the things my Mom would tell my sister and me and try and teach us! I learned what worked and what didn't work and what hurt people and how to treat people.  I learned what made me happy and what did not. I learned that what and who we surround ourselves with can really make an impact on our lives.  I learned some hard lessons but I know God had and still has some great plans for me because He NEVER gave up on me.  No matter what bad choices I made or how or who I hurt in the process of growing, He never once turned His back on me.  He allowed me to continue to learn and grow and boy have I learned. My point to all of this is that sometimes we tend to let go of those hard lessons and resort back to somebody we used to be, somebody we did not particularly like.  I recently did that.  Thank God it was only a snippet of who I used to be but it was enough to wake me up and make me realize where I was heading.....again.

Going back to my heart condition.  Physically, I have been having major heart pains.  I have been dizzy, having black outs again, feeling the massive chest pains that just won't go away, and feeling exhausted.  These symptoms are all too familiar with me and have been a red flag that I am doing something wrong in my life again.  I had to look at my diet, my stress levels, and what all is going on around me.  In doing this, I realized that there are some things I need to let go of and things I need to change for my physical health.  It also made me dig deep into my spiritual heart and my emotional heart.  I have had to ask myself some tough questions lately about life.  God is so amazing how He guides us to these things and how He answers questions and concerns we have.  Over and over, I asked Him why I was having to go through these symptoms again of my heart condition.  For so long, I have had it under control.  I asked and He answered....

Last night before falling asleep, I prayed and asked God to please direct me to what I needed to do to get control of my symptoms again.  I asked Him to reveal to me what eating habits I needed to change (again) and to bring to light what stressors were causing me so much anxiety for so long.  I asked Him, why would a medicine that has been working so well need to be changed all of a sudden and what He wanted me to do.  I prayed about the possibility of having surgery to repair my valve and if that may be, then give me the strength and peace to be "ok" with it.  I prayed about so much more, what did I need to do to help get my heart back to good.

Little did I know; He has not been too happy with the condition of my spiritual and emotional heart and had some things to say to me about that even BIGGER topic.

My sister gave me a book a few months ago called "Dare To Be" by Natalie Grant.  I opened it this morning after my morning Bible Study and today's devotional was entitled "Dare To Let It Go".  I started reading it without even a second thought to the impact it would have on me or how God was about to use the next two pages to minister to me what He has been trying to minister to me for the past few weeks, probably even months.  I want to share a little of what I feel is going to change my heart condition.....

"At some point in time, we all have the opportunity to be offended.  We each have had those moments when people have either mistreated or misunderstood us.  In those moments we have to decide; do we take the offense, or do we choose to let it go?  I have done both, and I can tell you first hand that if you do 'take an offense' it will eventually 'take from you.'  It will take your time, your emotions and peace.  So today, I want to dare you to let it go."  ~ Natalie Grant

".....the truth is, we can get so upset by another's judgement of our situation that we lose all perspective and want to settle the matter, often with no regard for the consequences this could bring." ~ Natalie Grant

"Your life is too valuable to waste on being bitter.  So today, decide to be better.  Let God's love heal you, let His forgiveness free you and embrace the peace that comes from letting it go.  Choose to feed those things that give you life instead of those that take it from you.  Dare to let it go, however hard it may seem.  And when you do, you will not only let it go but you will also let your future grow."  ~Natalie Grant

I can't even begin to tell you how powerful this was to me.  Reading this opened my eyes to some things that have been emotionally and spiritually eating me up inside.  It opened my eyes to some relationships that I have been trying to force to stay together despite the pain and chaos surrounding them.  It opened my eyes to the symptoms of a heart that has not been loving the way God wants me to.  It made me realize how some of these relationships and issues tend to TAKE from my life rather than giving me LIFE! I finally accepted that some things just aren't meant to be and sometimes loving from a distance is the only way to purely love somebody.  Letting go of people and relationships doesn't always necessarily mean you don't love them any more or that either party is bad, it just means that something in the dynamic of the relationship is unhealthy to one or both parties and letting go is the only way to allow healing and restoration within ourselves.  Sometimes the separation is only for a season and sometimes it is forever and if it is forever, that's ok.  God has His reasons for not allowing restoration in the relationship but only allowing restoration in your heart.  Letting go of a relationship  is sometimes the only way to let go of an offense or a grudge or a pain that resulted in the relationship.

Letting go of a relationship hurts but hanging on and forcing something to work hurts even more.  The unhealthiness never really goes away and often times it is covered up and never really dealt with but it is always there.  It is always there waiting for another opportunity to show its ugly face to cause more pain and chaos.  Letting go is not always a bad thing and sometimes it is the only way our hearts can heal and function properly.  When we walk in pain and grief and stress, we tend to not be ourselves.  We start to become people we do not want to be.  We start to be that bitter person who finds fault in everything and everybody.  We start to have a rotten heart who loses touch with how to love God's way.  I don't want to be that person.  I want to have a pure heart filled with so much love that a bad thought never even crosses my mind.  I used to be that person who saw so little fault in others and saw nothing but good in a person.  I am taking that girl back and getting my heart right again.  It will require letting some offenses go and sadly, letting some relationships go.  It is going to hurt but I know first hand, it is hurting more NOT letting go.

Maybe it will help my physical heart feel right again.  If it does, AMEN!!!! If not, that's ok...... at least my emotional and spiritual heart will be in a good place to be able to face the physical aspects of it all and to me, that is so much more important.  I want my heart right for God and I want my heart right for myself and I want my heart right for my future family.  I want to start my marriage off right with an amazing heart for God so that I can love him and our children properly and be able to honor God with an awesome loving family.

I don't want any rotten or ugly in my heart or spirit...... I only want pure love and peace in it and starting today, that's what I will have!!!!

I hope this helps even just one person out there suffering with an unhealed heart.  A healthy heart lets go. Sometimes that means letting go of sin, hatred, grudges, or even relationships......and sometimes it is letting go of them all.  Only you and God can decide that.  Just remember that He is with you and obedience is always key!!!!

God Bless!  xoxo