A reader that reads my blog sent me an email yesterday asking for prayer and advice on an issue she has with her brother not liking her new husband. I didn't respond until this morning. I'm not an expert on marriage, I've only been married for a little over a month, and I wanted to pray about it and make sure I spoke with wisdom and not emotion and not a text book answer formed from my psychology education.
I thought I would share my thoughts on this topic because I feel like this is such an important topic.
Our relationship with our spouse, next to our relationship with God, is the MOST important and sacred relationship we will ever have. Yes, I say EVER. It's more important than our relationships with our parents, children, siblings, friends, co workers etc. Our spouses are the ones who take care of us when we are sick, pray with us when we are frustrated and struggling, hold us when we cry late at night, battle the world of finances with us, share in every joy, laugh with us late at night when we wake up thinking it's morning....and the lists go on. My spouse is the one I go to for every little thing, he is my best friend!
I was so sad Thursday morning after hearing about an old college friend who passed away the day before, that I couldn't even find something to wear to work. I stood in my closet for ten minutes and came out flustered because I forgot what I was even doing in there. Who is the one I counted on to find an outfit for me to put on because my heart was so heavy that I couldn't even focus enough to find something to wear? My husband.
Yes, I have amazing family and phenomenal friends who go above and beyond for me and I value those relationships to the moon and back but I take to heart Mark 10:8 when scripture tells us, two become one flesh in marriage.
As Christ followers we should always support and love our family members or friend's spouses.
I had a conversation with Pastor Carl a couple of weeks ago about marriage when he asked me how I was enjoying the married life. I told him how amazing it was and that it was not what I expected. I expected it to be amazing but being married is more than amazing, it is something you can't really put into words. It's so holy and sacred. You think you know what marriage will be like when you aren't married but then you get married and it is more than what you even could have imagined. It's awesome! He then talked to me about how that alone is why the enemy is always out to destroy and attack marriages, because of the amazing and holy bond a husband and wife share.
Do not be one of satan's tools he uses to attack a marriage. Unless there is some kind of physical harm or abuse going on, learn to love the spouse and even then, you should still love them and advise your loved one to seek professional help to deal with the situation. However, right now, I'm not talking about those harmful situations, I am talking about the petty reasons as humans we choose to not love or like others. I have news for you..... that spouse you dislike or hate are now one with your loved one and you can't hate or dislike one and expect your relationship to be the same with the other. Either you will feel a relationship slip away slowly or you will be a reason for a discord in marriage. I took this blog email to heart because I have seen so many marriages that could have been saved, end up falling apart because family and friends chose to ignore the marriage vowels and encourage divorce or cheating.
Love is powerful and even more powerful between a husband and wife. If you see a problem in a marriage or you have a valid reason to "dislike" that spouse.....pray for them and pray for their marriage to blossom and more than anything.....don't just pray for them but LOVE them through the tough times and change. Marriage is AMAZING but it is also different and challenging at times. None of us are perfect and just like in life, marriages need seasons of growth. Husbands and wives become phenomenal in time. It takes time to become the spouse we are meant to be! Give people a chance and learn to love. If you are married; I promise, you weren't the perfect spouse at the beginning and neither was your spouse. If you aren't married......you will understand one day.
This is also a good motto to have for those spouses you don't like.....
.jpg)
