ShoeDazzle Stormie Chocolate Boots

It's Fall y'all and that means only one thing...... FALL FASHION is here!!! I'm not going to lie, fall fashion is one of my most favorite things about the season! Shoe Dazzle has some of the cutest boots this season! You have GOT to check them out at http://www.shoedazzle.com/invite/mrslubbockaddis and tell them your friend Cryssie Addis sent ya! ;)

Here is the new Stormie Chocolate Boot......beautiful and comfortable! A must have this fall season!

Mandarin Sleeve Fancy Shift Dress

Thank you to my friends at Fashion Mia for this beautiful Mandarin Sleeve Fancy Shift dress.

http://www.fashionmia.com/ 

I read to children at the local library in this beautiful outfit today and it was so comfortable yet so fancy! I'm so in love with this dress! You can order yours at http://www.fashionmia.com/Products/mandarin-sleeve-fancy-shift-dress-130762.html. 

My favorite part of this dress are the elegant sleeves. I felt so fancy! It matched my crown perfectly! 

Eliminate the Fan In You

In a world full of skewed values, constant hate and selfish motives, we need to do everything we can to eliminate just being a "fan" of Jesus. You might be asking yourself right now, "what does she mean by being a 'fan' of Jesus, I love Jesus .......isn't that good enough?" The truth is that loving Jesus and being a true follower of Jesus are two totally different things and as Christians, we need to do both.

There was a time in my life where I was on the fence in my christian walk. I had one foot in and one foot out flirting with a worldly lifestyle. One day after a night out at the bars I got home, hopped on social media and saw that a friend had posted this quote, I would love to say reading this quote about Christians being the cause of atheism shifted something in me.....but it didn't. In my warped mind of thinking I was still doing right because I was going to church every Sunday, I said to myself "Yeah! You hypocrites, you are turning people away from Christ!" and then I reposted it. So my page for that weekend was as follows...."Wooo having fun with the girls" (at a bar, I didn't have a drink in my hand, just the other girls did so I was good", "Wooooo ran into these cute boys" (I wasn't making out with any of them and again, no beer in my hand. My clothes were a little questionable but who cares, I'm not showing them that I am drinking), then a repost of the awesome quote about hypocrite Christians, next my sweet post about how church service was awesome.....but it didn't stop there because it was "Sunday Fun day" and I had to go celebrate at the bars a few hours after church. Sad huh?

I was lost. I was so totally and utterly lost that I had NO idea what I was doing to myself, other lost people, other people still on the fence or most importantly my walk with God. I was hurting myself more than what I would have been had I just been all in to a sinful world of unbelieving. Sounds harsh but it's true and scripture tells us this too:

"But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" Revelation 3:16

That scripture scares me but I didn't get it until a loving person in my small group at the time (yes, I was attending a small group in between my nights out bar and club hopping) pulled me to the side and said, "I'm saying this out of love because I know you want to be a vessel for Christ but I have to tell you, you're doing it wrong and I want you to read this scripture...." She then lovingly and with so much wisdom in her every word explained to me that this scripture was a warning to all of us and that this scripture alone tells us that it isn't enough to just say I love Him but I have to show it to Him every single day and I have to reach the lost and unloved by living a lifestyle that HONORS God. And then she broke it to me, I was not living a lifestyle that honored myself or the One who gave His only begotten Son for me. That evening shook my world. I had so many mixed emotions; hurt, anger, pain, resentment, bitterness, guilt, conviction, sadness.....and I finally hit my knees and asked for complete forgiveness and a complete surrender. I told God that I was SO sorry for all the lost people that I confused with my behavior, out at the bars and clubs one night then church the next. How I must have confused so many people or even worse......turned them away from the most beloved Father.

I spent many weeks not talking to anybody. I had so much to sort out in my mind, my heart and in my life. All of my friends lived the half in and half out lifestyle and didn't understand what I was trying to tell them when I started declining nights out. I would ask them to come over and watch a movie instead and would literally get laughed at. So, I knew I needed to make LOTS of drastic changes in my life, sadly even cutting off relationships with some people. But I had finally hit that sweet spot where I really understood and I finally GOT IT and I was willing to do anything and everything to please Him and be obedient. I needed to get my heart right and my lifestyle in good standing with Him.

I finally came to a place where I yielded my whole life to Him. I realized that when we truly have Christ upon our lives, our untamed and sinful natures are brought under His control. We no longer desire the things of the flesh above pleasing Him. My single loneliness would no longer trump my love for Him. I stopped going out, I stopped dating the wrong guys and started dating my beloved God. I fell in love with Him and started to dive into the Word so much that it was a part of my very being. I felt hungry and I had never felt that before. He was truly my best friend and the Father I respected and honored with every part of my life. I was no longer just His fan.

"Whoever loves pure thoughts and kind words will have even the King as a friend." Proverbs 22:11

If you are struggling with being one foot in and foot out, trust me, you are not ever too far gone for Him. Surrender it ALL to Him and be obedient to how He wants you to live. Will it be easy, nothing worth having ever is; you will probably lose some relationships, you will go through times of loneliness and the temptation will creep back in but you have to fight it. I would fight everything with the Word. I got lonely, I dove into my Bible and prayer. I started to feel left out from the big night out to celebrate someone's birthday, I dove into my Bible and prayer and celebrated my positive changes with my Father. Everything always went back to Him and that is the moment my whole life shifted. God started to really use me to minister to people, He started to give me vision of what my purpose was, He started to open doors to work in ministry and to love on others in a way that was so deep and meaningful. He finally trusted me to do His work.

Don't be just His fan. He wants SO much more for you and for your relationship with Him. We can't have true relationship with Him if we are hurting His heart every other weekend. Does He forgive us and love us even in that season, absolutely! But it doesn't mean He wants us to stay there! Time to surrender! Time to change! Time to stop being His fan and being His daughters and sons!

Clergy Appreciation

Thank you Bahama Bucks for the appreciation and gift card!!! 

Weekend Shenanigans - Scary Movies, Pokeman, and Rest

I didn't have much weekend shenanigans since I have been resting from having the endoscopy but it was definitely a nice weekend still.

Hubby and I watched some scary Halloween movies....I mean it's the month of October!! So, he grabbed us some popcorn from Ears A Poppin' and we made it a weekend of movie rentals!!!!

By the way, the Witch was very scary and very good!!!! If you are looking for a creepy movie to watch this October, this is the one to watch! CREEPY!!!! I said "Jesus Jesus Jesus" the whole time!

Today we got out for the first time and joined the Pokeman Art Drop...I started to feel a little dizzy from meds but we made it long enough to grab this beauty from one of my favorite artists, XReyRey!

Now we are home relaxing watching one of my favs.....

Hoping tomorrow, I will feel better!!!!

Meet Ezra

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I'm going to share something with you all. I kept this intimate between my husband and I but I'm ready to now share it with you all. The week before our projected due date (September 4th) for what would have been our first child, we named our baby. We weren't far along enough to know the sex of our baby but I felt it in my spirit that our first child would be a boy. Right after I started to lose the pregnancy, that feeling instantly died. I knew in my heart of hearts, that was our baby boy that I always felt we would have. I shared this with my husband the day we named our baby and we agreed that his name would have to have a profound meaning.

Let me back up a little to the month we lost our baby boy. I was obviously sad but what saddened me the most wasn't that I wouldn't be able to hold him in my arms or be his mommy but that I would never get to see my baby live out his purpose. After I opened up about our loss, I had so many women reach out to me and tell me how their miscarriage had impacted their life in a profound way and shared with me that my writings had touched them and helped them come to a place of wanting healing and closure. One night after a long conversation with a woman from North Carolina via Facebook IM, the Lord spoke to my spirit and told me that my baby's purpose would be lived out through me from here on out. He gave me a new outlook on what it meant to help others and to truly be a hand for Jesus. I knew at that moment that my baby's purpose was birthed in me and that he would forever be my.....helper.

My husband and I agreed on a name for our baby boy, Ezra Addis. We haven't agreed on a middle name yet haha....but that's ok. Of course we picked a name that would have a powerful meaning special to him and that meaning is, "helper". My Ezra will forever be mommy's helper in reaching out to a hurting and painful world. I'm not sure what that looks like yet but that's ok, I'm just embracing each moment that I am able to help others on behalf of my Ezra. I won't let you down baby, I will help others and fulfill your purpose!

So, from now on, when anybody meets me.....they will also meet Ezra Addis in me! He is forever in my heart, my mind and spirit! I know God had great big plans for Him and they were fulfilled the moment he came into my life.....the moment I realized the importance of purpose! You see, we all have a purpose in this world. It doesn't matter what your circumstances are or what is happening around you. You have purpose!

Permission To Not Fulfill Expectations

What a year my soul has had. It would be an understatement to say, I'm ready for 2017 to come. 2016 started off rough - we lost our precious baby on January 4th and I couldn't have been more devastated. My faith was tested and stretched. I would love to say the rest of the year has been amazing....but I can't, it has been miraculous. Not in the everything turned out great, life is going wonderful kinda way but in the my faith was tested and my spirit was stretched and grown kinda way. You see, on the outside this year has seemed terrible, horrible....traumatic one might say but in the spiritual and inner growth way, it's been the best year of my life! I have learned, I have grown....I.have.changed.

From loss, to breast cancer scare, to infertility, to stomach problems, to medical procedures, to heartache....to God. All to God. My heart has turned all to Him. I battled depression and still find myself having to be intentional about not going there. I have had to cling to God some nights so that I didn't drown in my own thoughts and He has been there. He's been there to teach me, to grow me....to comfort me.

Recently I went through a time of grieving the relationships I let down in my year of roller coaster. I was carrying guilt like no other. I let friends down, I backed off certain projects so that I could breathe and grieve, I wasn't there for people when maybe I should have been.....and I started to feel a tremendous amount of guilt. This guilt weighed on me for some days. Until God....

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Proverbs 17:17

The night before last, I woke up with a heaviness on my heart and a pain in my stomach.....the guilt had returned. I walked downstairs and had a glass of milk as this tends to help my tummy these days. I sat on the recliner and I felt the Lord send me to Proverbs 17:17. I read it and weeped. You see, I had been feeling so terribly guilty for allowing my own depression to keep me from being the best friend I can be but the Lord wanted to show me, I was in a season of need. He wanted to remind me that I too need a strong friend from time to time who will not expect anything from me and just let me be in this season. I have needed to have the room to be late to functions, reschedule.....or even cancel because I can't seem to muster up the energy to even fix my hair let alone brush my teeth and look half way decent. I have needed the room to fail BIG and produce small. I have needed a season of zero expectations from people around me and I had to come to terms with that being OK and that I needed to have zero expectations of myself as well. In this season, it's ok.

I have learned so much about myself and my relationships have been tested and stretched this whole year and I'm SO thankful for that. God has revealed so much beauty to me and has given me permission to "just be" in this season. I'm so truly thankful for a God who makes ALL things beautiful and who takes our guilt and turns it around! I'm thankful for the friends who allowed me to just be this year. I'm thankful for the ones who have allowed me to fail with no judgment, no anger or rejection. I'm thankful to those who pulled me in closer by giving me the space and breathing room I needed to emotionally and physically heal. I'm truly thankful for this unconditional kind of love I received from true, inspiring and amazing family and friends!

My promise to you, I too will give you this space and time if you are ever in a season where you just need "to be". My compassion meter has been elevated and I get it!

Friendship is beautiful but it's so true when they say you find out who your real friends are when you are going through troubles. Thank You Jesus for this revelation. Thank You for giving me permission to not live up to other people's expectations. Thank You Jesus for not expecting anything of me this season but a complete surrender and trust in You.

Scripture For the Day

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm‬ ‭51:10‬ 

Scripture For the Day

“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭27:9‬ ‭

Praying For A Best Friend

I don't know about you all but when it comes to best friends, I don't want just any best friend but I want a spiritual best friend. A spiritual best friend is one who is committed to walking through life's ups and downs with you and who is committed to help you grow in God! A spiritual friend is somebody who in the midst of problems, stops everything to reach out and pray with you and who makes an effort to understand you.

This past year has stretched and grown me so much.I see so many things differently. The miscarriage taught me about the reality of hopes and dreams being taken from out of our grasp in a blink of an eye. It brought a phenomenal trust in God that I cannot put into words. My plans are not His plans and I'm so thankful for that. He knows what I need and when I need it and even in the deep pain, I must trust Him.

My recent health issues have taught me patience and courage. The scare of a breast nodule and getting mammograms and breast ultrasounds shook me to my core but I had a peace throughout the whole process. Maybe it was discerning that everything would be ok and that the nodule was not cancerous or maybe it was the trust I have built up in Him over the past few months. I'm not sure what it was but it was amazing. I felt His love in a big way and I saw His hand working in every detail of my health issues.

I have seen His hand vividly this past year. I would never ever want to relive this year again but I don't regret it for one second nor would I change one thing. The pain and frustration were real but so was His love. His love has been the only thing that has literally saved my life this past year. His love is what reached out to me in my moments of despair and brought me out of the pit of depression. This year has grown me so much and my relationship with God has grown leaps and bounds!

I love people deeper and truly see the beauty in every single person in my life. Just two months ago, I can sadly say, that wasn't me. Trauma and health scares have brought me to a place of peace with myself that leads me to a place of peace with others. I used to be critical of myself and of others but I have realized that life is too short for that and people are too important. I think of all of my friends and want to embrace each of them and I anticipate the new friends because those friends will be getting the best of me from the get go (sorry oldies, nothing personal.....it just took me some time and heartache to get here).

I say all this to say that I am extremely happy where I am in life right now. I know without a shadow of doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Right now in this moment, I am extremely grateful for an amazing husband who is above and beyond all of my prayers. I'm thankful for a job that allows me to serve others and help build the Kingdom of God. I'm also thankful for this longing for a spiritual friendship. It's this deep longing to connect with one friend, a best best best friend. Scripture tells us that a friend will stick closer than a brother.....wow, closer than our own blood. I want the kind of friend that scripture talks about, one who sticks closer than a brother. Don't get me wrong, I have AMAZING friends who are lifers and will always be forever besties to me but I miss having that one friend who is without a shadow of doubt, my BEST FRIEND.

When I think of that friend that is described in scripture, I think of the sister who a gal talks to every single day. They text, call, facetime and email everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that they are not in communication. I think of the sister who is fully committed to growing in Christ and who will be the one to encourage, hold accountable and cheer the other on. I think of sisters who are fully committed to communicating and committing to understand one another, even when it's hard to understand one another and especially when the waves are rocky. I miss that in my life and it's crazy but I didn't know it was missing until I built a love in my heart that's ready for deep and honest spiritual friendship.

One might ask, what about your husband? My husband is AMAZING and is definitely my best friend but.....he's definitely not a sister. He doesn't understand the importance of needing the dress that's on sale or that I can't wear a t-shirt to dinner with his parents or why I have a long bed time routine of face washing, hair grooming and teeth whitening and he especially doesn't understand my need to know how to put on false eye lashes. God made husbands and I'm SO thankful for that.....but He also created us for relationships with friends who stick closer than a brother. Tonight, I pray for my best friend. I used to pray for my husband and God brought me the most AMAZING husband ever! I know through the relationship I have with my husband that He will be faithful in bringing me a friend that will stick closer than a sister.

If you are lonely for a friend that will stick closer than a brother or sister tonight, close your eyes and pray for him or her. Trust that God has placed that desire in your heart for a reason and that it is not silly. It's not silly at all to desire the kind of friendship scripture teaches us about. He is a faithful God and He created you for real connection with others! I'm praying for my best friend tonight. I don't know who she is or what she is doing but I pray that God is guiding her, protecting her and loving on her tonight!