My Journey With Heart Disease

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Phillippians 4:13

We all struggle with battles and sometimes life brings them to us all at once but I am a believer in the knowledge that He will not give us more than what we can handle.  With February being heart month, I thought I would share my journey with heart disease. My journey started for me when I was a baby.  I was born with a heart murmur, which isn't very uncommon for premature babies.  It was managed growing up and the symptoms began to be far and few until three years ago.  I was living in Arkansas  when my doctor wanted me to get an Echo done for the murmur he could hear in my routine check up and for the problems I had been having with feeling tired, dizzy, having chest pains, and having a hard time catching my breath at any extreme movement.  This was scary for me but I knew that no matter the outcome, I would be in His hands.  My sweet friend Tyler went with me to the Echo and it was so good just knowing she was out there in the waiting room waiting on me.  Tyler is another amazing way that God works.  She has become a very important person in my life and our friendship is one that is kinda unbelievable when you really think about it but I'll save that story for another blog entry..... 

My Echo results wouldn't be back for another week, so in the mean time, Doc advised me to get as much rest as possible and to try and not get stressed out.  Not get stressed out? hhmm..... again, I knew God would be with me no matter what, even if stress were to enter my life, which it did.....

For the first few months I was vague about my heart problems and that was more because I wasn't fully understanding what was going on with my own heart to really answer questions.  Once I got my results in and had a chance to study up on my diagnosis, I was able to face this battle head on!  I had a full understanding of what was going and since then I have had to work hard on maintaining some awesome heart health!  

So, what I have is Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP) and regurgitation.  MVP is a heart disease that when the valve is closed, the leaflets bulge abnormally up, into the atrium. Sometimes mitral valve prolapse causes mitral valve regurgitation. If the prolapse is severe, the valve leaflets can become disconnected from tendons that stretch between the leaflets and the heart muscle. This can cause the valve to malfunction.  The regurgitation is when the valve doesn't close completely and allows blood to leak back.  

The MVP was the reason for my dizziness, fainting, lack of energy, heart palpitations, and anxiety.

This is a condition I will have for the rest of my life and I don't mind putting this information about myself out there because I want to be an ambassador for this type of heart disease.  I want to get better and do all that I can to stay heart healthy.  I know with God on my side that I can and WILL live a "normal" life.  It was a slight change in lifestyle but nothing that I couldn't handle and nothing that isn't good for me to do any way!  I can't play singles tennis, no biggie, I sucked at tennis any way.  I have to give up caffeine, oh well, needed to do that any way.  I MIGHT not be able to run that marathon that I wanted to run but that's ok.  I can't drink alcohol, oh well, I'm not a big drinker any way.  I'll have to see my heart specialist every three months for the rest of my life, that's ok, he's a nice guy. I try to stay as positive as possible when it comes to my heart but the reality is, one day, I will have to make a decision to have open heart surgery and that's ok, I know God will always be near me. 

Have I been nervous throughout this journey?  Absolutely....... but God always finds a way to ease my worries.  Anything that has to do with the heart can be a scary feeling but I have my faith and I hope that I can be an example to others who go through ANY kind of heart condition.  It's not the end of the world and in time I will feel better and live better.  Sure, I might always experience symptoms but at least I know how to live with it better.  I was excited to start this new chapter in life and to learn how to live with this condition. Knowledge is POWER and I encourage anybody who has even the slightest bit of heart issues, get checked out!  No problem is too small when it comes to the heart!!!!  

Thought Of The Day

Don’t love your money. You’ve got to decide if God is going to be number one in your life or if making a lot of money will be your number one goal in life. You cannot serve both. “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Luke 16:13).

Thought Of The Day

"People who draw attention will also draw criticism." T.D. Jakes

Why I Turned Down A Free Enrique and Pitbull Concert Ticket

I was recently asked to join a friend of mine to a concert Friday night, ticket was on her.  I politely declined.  I could tell I hurt her feelings and she asked me, "Why?  Do you not like Pitbull?  How in the world could you not like him, he's hot!!  I thought you used to like him?"  I explained to her that I have been a fan of his before and of Enrique's but over the years I have just slowly been uninterested in music that glorified sex, partying, and basically mocked teachings of the Bible.  I also started to explain to her that my spirit has been needing protection lately. My friend is not a Christian and she did not quite understand what I meant but she kept asking questions, so I kept answering as lovingly and as honestly as I could without saying something that might make her think I was judging her for going to the concert.

In my quest to explain to her what I meant by everything, I made a comment about me getting married soon.  I said, "you know, I am so excited to get married but I also have been facing fears of marriage and right now I need to protect my spirit and my heart from any thoughts that are not of Him."  Her response was, "you are taking this married thing a little too far now Cryssie."  I thanked her and smoothly changed the subject as I could tell the conversation was going in circles.

I thanked her for her comment because where she meant it as an insult, I took it as a compliment.  Yes, I am taking the "marriage thing" far.....because it is far.  It's a far off season of life that will drastically be different from my single life.  My marriage will be (next to God) the most important thing in my world and if listening to music that glorifies sex and pride could possibly open any negative feelings or thoughts; I will gladly turn away from it and protect my heart.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

 I spent the rest of my day in deep thought over our conversation, I started to realize that I really wasn't sure what my stance was on secular music.  As a Christian, I kind of just listen to majority Christian and maybe once in a blue moon, I listen to something that isn't Christian.  I started to listen to sermons on this topic and realized that I needed to be more mindful of what I let come into my ears and into my mind, spirit, and heart.  I have thought this for a while but it wasn't until today that I really studied this topic.

Why did my spirit automatically get so uncomfortable with the thought of going to this concert?  Why were my convictions screaming out to me?  These questions were ringing over and over in my mind, so I listened to a couple of these artists songs and when I had finally had enough...... my spirit was so sad.  I felt icky inside and so sad that so many women and young girls listen to these songs and open up their hearts to this music.  I'm not gonna lie, when I was totally in the world, Enrique Iglesias was one of my favorites. Sadly, it wasn't his music I enjoyed but I mainly lusted over him. I have seen him in concert twice and embarrassingly I have to admit, I do not remember much of the music aspect of the concerts because I was so focused on my lustful thoughts of him.

I haven't listened to much of him in the past few years but I pulled up one of his newer songs and my heart just broke.  His "I'm A Freak" video and song is about nothing but freaky casual sex and a total disregard to what God created it to be.  "Time Of Our Lives" by Pitbull was the most disturbing to me.  The song starts off with being late on bills but using that money to go out and party.  Luke 16:1 teaches us that we are to be good stewards of our money so how can I jam out to somebody going totally against what my God tries to teach us day in and day out?  At one point, Pitbull totally mocks the Church and then turns around and says he is blessed; totally mocking what I hold near and dear to my heart.  The Church is my life.  She is my God's wife and His love.  In so many of his lyrics he blatantly tells the listener that he only wants lust; totally glorifying the total opposite thing that God created sex for.  As a Christian, that totally hurt my heart.  I literally felt sick to my stomach when I was done listening.

So much of these lyrics completely crushed my spirit as I listened.  Maybe it's that my life IS going into a whole new season and so my heart is so sensitive lately.  I am about to be a wife and soon after we'll start talking about having children. So, maybe it's the idea of being a mother to a daughter one day and hating the thought that she would listen to these lyrics and feel like it is ok to be degraded and used by men.  Or maybe it has nothing to do with the new season I am going into but it is my heart growing so much more and more in love with Jesus that a song that disregards everything He is about totally breaks my heart.

I'm not sure exactly what the reasoning is but I do know whatever it is, it all boils down to Jesus.  I am not perfect nor will I ever be.  I will continue to sin and continue to do things that totally break His heart.  I will continue to be corrected and redirected just like I have been in the past and that's ok.  However, I know who my heart belongs to and I know what direction my walk is going.  Just because I know I am a sinner and will never be perfect does not give me a free pass to participate in something that 100% dishonors the Man I totally revolve my whole life around, God.  God has an enormous amount of love for me and I know He would never support ANYBODY singing songs to put me down, so why would I do that to Him?

I'm not here to judge anybody; like I said, I'm not perfect and I never will be.  I am not here to say anybody is a bad person or that somebody is a better person if they do not listen to secular music.  However, I am here to plant a seed and to remind you of who you serve and what He stands for.  Nothing is more sensitive than our spirits and souls, please be careful ears what you hear and be careful eyes what you see.  I'm not sure how I will carry out the rest of this conviction.  I don't know if I will totally put away all of my secular music and all of my secular movies.  I'm not sure if I will ever listen to another Coldplay song or watch another horror movie again but I do know that God has placed a new conviction in my spirit.  I am one to obey Him with all that I can and protecting my heart is one of the most important things to me.  I do know this breakthrough will bring about a change in my life and I couldn't be happier with it.  I will take any step closer to His image that I can!!!

God Bless you all!

It's About Asking God

Many times we find ourselves having a hard time determining God's will for us. What does He want us to do? What path does He need us on to get to His destination for us? We ask ourselves these questions yet we continue to refuse to totally empty our own thoughts and desires in order for Him to fill us and lead us. We ask ourselves over and over again but refuse to ask God.

In order to know God's will we must be willing to surrender ourselves to Him. Surrender all. Surrender our own desires, passions, thoughts, and plans.  I believe in being bold in our prayers and trusting God with boldness; however, we must first totally empty ourselves and surrender our own will in order to be filled with what He wants for our lives.  Trust me, His path for us exceeds far beyond our own paths for our lives.  

Self-control is fought primarily in our minds and thoughts.  There is a battle going on between our passions and desires that enter into our thoughts.  This is when we begin to pray for that inner strength.  We surrender and allow that curve to happen in order to align our heart with His desires for us.  God wants the best for us and the only way He can give that to us is if we stand strong in His will and stand strong in fighting off the temptations that are thrown our way in the process of walking the right path.  

We must allow the Holy Spirit to work in us, for us, and for His will.  We must allow His will for us to be the driving source to our thoughts and to our behavior and once that inner strength has set in and become our heart, that is when we begin to practice obedience.  Obedience comes with standing strong in what we know God's will is for our lives.  We become obedient and learn to trust in His guidance.  We learn to discern situations and we learn to take captive those lies the enemy tells us.  

"I love all who love me.  Those who search for me shall surely find me." Proverbs 8:17

Feeling lost?  Put your hands together, empty your own desires, close your eyes, and ask Him to fill your heart with the desires He has for you.  Search for those desires.  Search for Him.

Scripture For The Day

Ephesians 2:13 NIV

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

Saturday Six ~ Road To Addis Countdown

Saturday Six One:

Darin and I booked our flights to NYC and our hotel rooms for our wedding day in NYC!!!!  WOOHOO!!!!!!

Saturday Six Two:

Got our engagement announcements in today..... they came out so cute!

Saturday Six Three:

I have been sick since Thursday and so thankful to have the most amazing fiance' ever.  He has been running around for me and taking such great care of me.  I slept a lot today and woke up to a fridge full of veggies and Naked drinks.  I love this man!  So blessed!

Saturday Six Four:

I talked to NYC Shops for my wedding bouquet today.  Everybody has been so nice and helpful!  It's so cool to know that in 27 days, I will be in NYC saying "I do!"

Saturday Six Five:

I snagged a new client today in photography.  She owns a business and asked me to take pictures for her web site from time to time!  Score!

Saturday Six Six:

I'm happy.

I'm really really happy and it is such a great feeling.  I don't have everything together and things aren't always perfect but I'm happy.

I Want To Receive His Heaven

"To know God's will, we must totally surrender to God's Will." Max Lucado

Lately I have been faced with many amazing changes in my life that have continued to bring me to my knees both in seeking guidance and praising Him for His blessings.  Recently, I have battled fear and worry and have had to hand it over to Him completely in order to not get caught up in the enemy's plan.  At the same time I have also come face to face with His grace and divine intervention and most importantly transformation.  He has poured His love and guidance over me so powerfully but it has taken an emptying of myself in order for Him to be able to change my heart. 

To know Him and to be sensitive to Him, we have to totally surrender to Him.  We have to seek Him in prayer and ask to be sensitive to His voice.  See, often times we go to Him in prayer with a handful of choices that we want Him to decide for us.  God, should I take job A or job B, should I move to state 1 or state 2, should I get married, should I stay single, should I have a baby or travel the world.....the list goes on and on of all that we bring to Him.  We say, "Lord, this is what I want but I don't know which one is better, You pick." 

It takes more than that.  We must learn to enter His presence with empty hands, no hidden agendas, no multiple choice test for Him.....we must go to Him completely empty.  We must go to Him with a total willingness to do whatever He says.  We must surrender our life and our will to Him and trust in the desires He has for us.  We must empty the desires of our hearts and allow Him to refill our hearts with all that is Him.  

I'm getting married in 27 days and where this is the happiest of moments, it is also a very scary one.  I have been battling insecurities and wondering if I will be a good wife.  Will I love him the right way? Will I fail him in any way and if I do, will he leave me?  Will I always trust him and honor him?  Or will I become naggy and argumentative and God forbid, would I ever want to leave?  The fears and the questions go on and on yet in the midst of all the shouting fears and questions, I hear the small yet powerful whisper from the Lord telling me, "do not fear, I am here."  See, I have prayed and prayed not just for my future husband but for me as well.  I have left all of these questions and fears at the cross and I have to make a choice to leave them there.  I have to surrender it all to Him and trust Him! 

If you haven't listened to the Jeremy Camp song, "Empty Me", I highly recommend this song.  This song explains exactly what I am saying.  It gives me chills every time I listen to it.  We need to be emptied in order to be refilled by Him.  Emptied, not just by our wants and what we think we need but emptied of everything.  Emptied of shame, unforgiving thoughts, bitterness, things of the world, tomorrow's to-do list, yesterday's failures......everything!  We must be willing to surrender our whole world in order to receive His Heaven!

http://youtu.be/TWk42LFOQXM

Holy Fire burn away, 

My desire for anything

That is not of you and is of me.

I want more of you and less of me.



Holy Fire burn away,

My desire for anything

That is not of you and is of me,

I want more of you and less of me, yeah.

Empty me,

Empty me, yeah,

Fill, won't you fill me, 

With you, with you, yeah.



Holy Fire, burn away,

My desire for anything

That is not of you and is of me.

I want more of you and less of me, yeah.

Empty me,

Empty me, yeah.

Fill, won't you fill me, with you, with you, empty me now.



Well won't you empty me, well won't you empty me now. repeat x2

I want more, I want more, I want more of you, Jesus.

I want more, I want more, oh.

Thank you, Jesus. 

Thank you, Jesus, oh yeah, 

Thank you, Jesus, yeah. 

Holy Fire, Holy Fire, Holy Fire, Holy Fire

Scripture For The Day

John 3:16 NIV

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Snacks

Yum!!!!