So, a lot has happened over the last week. Some things that have left me in awe of Him and His love for me. Some things that have made me question what I am really doing with my life and circumstance that have allowed me to realize that I have not been completely putting God first in my life. I try to be a good Christian. I pray, dig into The Word, and talk about Jesus non stop. However, the one thing I have failed to do is to totally trust Him and trust how He wants my life to unfold. So many times I take matters into my own hands and end up creating my own destiny. I have done this over and over again.
My Aunt Ofelia came to visit and if you have kept up with my blog over the years, you know how much this woman means to me. She is the most precious person in my life and I always adore my time with her!
She is just so amazing! I spent the afternoon with her yesterday and we talked about so much! We talked about God, relationships, and death. In our talk about death we talked about aging. She explained to me that she had asked God the other morning if she was getting old and wrinkled and she said He answered her with "your soul does not have wrinkles". We giggled but I walked away so inspired by that one comment.
As we age, we begin to wonder where the time has gone. We look back and remember the bad choices we have made, the loved ones we have lost, and we often find ourselves wondering if we truly did everything in our lives that we were supposed to. As I said my prayers last night before bed, I wondered if God felt the same way about my soul, that it has no wrinkles. See, somebody like my Aunt who has given her whole life to serve Him, I know does not have one wrinkle in her soul. As I sat in prayer with my head hanging down, I wept. I asked Him what I could do have a soul and a life to honor Him. I asked Him questions about love and life and what I needed to change for my life to be more honoring to Him. I fell asleep in prayer (I do this often because I pray and pray and pray until I wake up the next morning realizing I never quite ended my prayer). As I awoke this morning, I felt His warmth in my spirit and He whispered, "I will make you wise and show you where to go." As I did my Bible study this afternoon, I stumbled upon Psalm 32:8, "I will make you wise and show you where to go." I love how He confirms when He speaks.
I don't have all of the answers and I will always fall short but I know I have a loving God who I can come to and ask questions, who I can call upon when I'm not really sure what I'm doing or what I am supposed to do next. He always comes through for me and He always guides me. I need not worry about what the next chapter in life is because He already has it written for me. All I need to do is follow His lead. He will show me where to go and most importantly, He will always smooth out the wrinkles in my soul!