February brought marriage and the change of the single role to the wifey role. I love being a wife and I love marriage and I still have so much to learn! I plan on growing daily into the best wife possible! My husband deserves that and my Father deserves to see His children in a healthy and loving marriage!
June brought a new position! I was promoted from administrative assistant to Life Group Coordinator at Trinity Church and it has been an adjustment, an awesome adjustment but nevertheless....an adjustment! I LOVED my role as an administrative assistant when I was at Wal-Mart Corporate and at the Church. My new role is very different from the role I was in for 7 years of my life and learning this new role has been exciting and amazing!
July brought a new home for my husband and I. During this move, I started to have terrible pains and I knew instantly I had a kidney stone. After going to the doctor and getting some tests ran, I found out that I had TWO kidney stones. I still haven't passed them and sadly looking at another surgery for this. During this time, I have at times been frustrated and sad. I haven't been able to enjoy my new home or unpack or practice my cooking in my new spacious and beautiful kitchen. However, this time down has also been beautiful.
The one thing I have learned is that how we speak to one another, the words we say, and our intentions mean EVERYTHING! I have always been told how sweet I am and I never really put much thought into that because, I was just always being me. Over the past few weeks, I have felt my character and my personality challenged. Not because of anything in particular but mainly from the stressors of all the change going on in life. Granite, they are all wonderful changes but still change and change can be an exhausting thing no matter how exciting or positive it is.
We don't recognize our character flaws until our flaws are put in unfamiliar situations and I am very thankful for this. I didn't realize I had some character flaws that clearly needed a good look at. I needed a shift in my heart and I didn't even realize it! I started to notice that I had a critical spirit buried deep down in me and it never really came out until I was placed in many new and unfamiliar situations. Being comfortable and in safe zones all of the time caused me to.....well be comfortable and I didn't have a hard time being that sweet girl.
God amazes me so much how He answers prayers. I asked before Darin and I got married for Him to please purge out any impurities I might have deep down in the core of my heart. My desire is to have a great marriage and a great life and I knew deep down that any impurities buried deep down would one day jeopardize this desire of mine. It has only been a few months since that prayer was whispered in my Father's ear and here He is, answering it. At first I didn't like these things being brought to light, I was learning stuff about myself that was ugly and embarrassing. It was only when I got sick with kidney stones that I was able to be quiet and in my prayer time really listen to Him and really embrace what was going on in the spiritual realm of stuff.
"but answer in a gentle way and with respect. Keep a clear conscience so that those who speak evil of your good life in Christ will be made ashamed." 1 Peter 3:16
Being critical of others can cause so much damage than what we realize. I am so thankful God brought this character flaw of mine to the forefront so that I can seek Him for a change in my spirit and in my heart. When we are critical of others it causes us to stop listening to them, stop respecting them, and it puts a halt on building a healthy relationship with them. Yes, we must hold one another accountable but lovingly holding somebody accountable is totally different from being critical and judging them! I'm far from done with this battle but it is a battle I am aware of now and it is a battle that God will fight with me! It is up to me to open my heart up, repent, and EXPECT change!!! So, next time you are put in uncomfortable situations, don't get discouraged. Ask God what He wants to reveal to you in that moment and embrace what He says to you!