In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I'm going to share something with you all. I kept this intimate between my husband and I but I'm ready to now share it with you all. The week before our projected due date (September 4th) for what would have been our first child, we named our baby. We weren't far along enough to know the sex of our baby but I felt it in my spirit that our first child would be a boy. Right after I started to lose the pregnancy, that feeling instantly died. I knew in my heart of hearts, that was our baby boy that I always felt we would have. I shared this with my husband the day we named our baby and we agreed that his name would have to have a profound meaning.
Let me back up a little to the month we lost our baby boy. I was obviously sad but what saddened me the most wasn't that I wouldn't be able to hold him in my arms or be his mommy but that I would never get to see my baby live out his purpose. After I opened up about our loss, I had so many women reach out to me and tell me how their miscarriage had impacted their life in a profound way and shared with me that my writings had touched them and helped them come to a place of wanting healing and closure. One night after a long conversation with a woman from North Carolina via Facebook IM, the Lord spoke to my spirit and told me that my baby's purpose would be lived out through me from here on out. He gave me a new outlook on what it meant to help others and to truly be a hand for Jesus. I knew at that moment that my baby's purpose was birthed in me and that he would forever be my.....helper.
My husband and I agreed on a name for our baby boy, Ezra Addis. We haven't agreed on a middle name yet haha....but that's ok. Of course we picked a name that would have a powerful meaning special to him and that meaning is, "helper". My Ezra will forever be mommy's helper in reaching out to a hurting and painful world. I'm not sure what that looks like yet but that's ok, I'm just embracing each moment that I am able to help others on behalf of my Ezra. I won't let you down baby, I will help others and fulfill your purpose!
So, from now on, when anybody meets me.....they will also meet Ezra Addis in me! He is forever in my heart, my mind and spirit! I know God had great big plans for Him and they were fulfilled the moment he came into my life.....the moment I realized the importance of purpose! You see, we all have a purpose in this world. It doesn't matter what your circumstances are or what is happening around you. You have purpose!