"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8
This scripture used to always confuse me. I didn't understand how a God who believed in community and relationship so much could warn us about trusting others. It wasn't until I was in high school and I was brutally betrayed by a close friend that I knew what this scripture was telling me. I put more trust in those relationships and in those girls never lying to me, rejecting me and making me feel accepted than I did in the One who will never lie to me, reject me and will always accept me.
I realized as I got older that people will hurt us, no matter how amazing or loving the relationship is and that's why we have to take refuge in the Lord over man. The amazing part about this scripture is that it's not meant for us to be cynical when it comes to trust but it's meant to 1) protect our hearts and 2) compel us to love others with a graceful heart. If we have the Love of the Lord in us then it is easier for us to show grace to others.
"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace,"
1 Peter 4:10
Even though I knew this, I wasn't practicing it. I was putting all of my trust into my relationships, expecting them to live up to this high standard that I placed upon them. I was feeling completely rejected when they would hurt me in any way, leaving me walking with pain and bitterness. I was letting people in too soon and getting upset when I finally got to know them and realized they were not people I needed to be friends with or have in my close circle and when I would finally realize this, I would be angry with them and couldn't love them the way God has called me to love others.
Going into new relationships wisely isn't to frustrate us but to protect us and the other person. We can't trust too easily or quickly. We have to walk into new relationships guarding our heart and getting to know a person so that way we don't end up hurting them if we find that this isn't a person that should be in our close circle and vice versa. None of us are perfect so we need to be protected as well if for some reason another person decides we don't belong in their close circle. Views are different and sometimes beliefs can cause us to decide it's time to move on from a relationship. We can eliminate all of this pain if we stop trusting too easily and jumping into relationships without getting to know somebody.
Get to know the person's beliefs, watch how they treat others and most of all ask yourself if this is somebody you would trust with your children or husband. If you aren't married, ask yourself if this is somebody who will help you to live a pure and peaceful single life. Read scripture and find out what God wants in friends for us. Pray and ask God if He approves of the friendship blossoming and be obedient to His whisper.
Trusting others isn't a bad thing but it is something we should do wisely. So much pain could be eliminated in other's lives if we learned to do this. I'm praying for you and praying for trust to be a precious and fragile part of who you are so that you don't give it away too easily!
Stay tuned for "I Didn't Let Wisdom Guide"