I Don't Do Unhealthy: Rejection - Letting Go Of the Chase

"Eliminate unhealthy relationships and focus on healthy ones. Honestly consider the value of each of your current relationships. Pray for the wisdom to determine which people in your life right now either are or aren’t worthy of your trust, time, and energy. Ask yourself who influences your life in positive ways, as well as who impacts it in negative ways. Let go of unhealthy relationships and focus only on people with whom you truly have safe and positive relationships. From now on, choose to invest only in relationships in which you can participate in a healthy flow of mutual commitment and contribution." - Crosswalk

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THIS 👐

I can't explain to you how much this solidified some of the things I had been praying about since I returned home from Texas. Something about my trip to Texas completely changed my heart, my spirit and my mind.  I feel peaceful and enlightened and have walked with a renewed hope.  God is SO AMAZING how He brings everything to the forefront and how He orchestrates it all to work out for our good.  He DOES MAKE BEAUTY OUT OF ASHES!!!! Thank You Jesus! 

With that being said, one of the things he has been working in my heart about is, my ability to let anybody and everybody into my close circle. I continue to chase the people who reject me, I trust too easily, I forgive without allowing wisdom to guide the relationship after forgiveness and I support anybody and everybody and their dreams without asking myself if I need to support at close range or step away and support from a distance (might not make sense written out but it does in my head haha).

The next few days, I will be elaborating on each of these components because I think it's important for us to share our experiences with one another.  If somebody has or is going through what I have, then maybe I can help and vice versa!  I want to share what God has moved in me over the past couple of weeks and why these things can be dangerous to us emotionally, physically and most of all spiritually!  

I ALLOW ANYBODY AND EVERYBODY INTO MY CLOSE CIRCLE

Why would we do this y'all?  There are so many scriptures that support us NOT doing this yet Christians tend to do this more often than not because it is ingrained in our minds that we are to love and be kind (which we should).  However, we can love and be kind without allowing people into our closest most inner thoughts.  We must be "choosy" about who we allow into those most precious places in the deepest most purest core of our inner being.  The enemy is lurking and is capable of using anybody to speak death into our dreams and into our lives and family's lives (even if it's not directly to us).  Yes, we are to love but I've said it time and time before, sometimes loving from a distance is a more precious and sacred love because it allows us to separate ourselves from the pain of rejection and hurt and allows us to give those emotions to God and move on.  Separation isn't always a bad thing and God sometimes needs that separation between two people in order to work.  

Even Jesus had an inner circle!

I was literally sharing my most inner thoughts, my precious heart, my complete trust and parts of my life that are sacred with people who have shown me time and time again that they don't really care about a relationship with me.  So, in essence, I was allowing myself to be rejected over and over again..... and over and over again....and over....(you get the picture).  Which brings me to my first lesson:

I Continued to Chase the People Who Rejected Me

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you." Josh 15:18

Ugh, rejection.  One of the ugliest feelings in the world.  It's one that Jesus must have felt over and over again.  It hurts my heart to think about the pain he must of endured, all for me....all for us! What's amazing though is the beauty that God makes out of rejection.  

"As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,"

 1 Peter 2:4

"The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone." Psalm 118:22

For me, that beauty is that rejection has brought me into a deeper relationship with Him.  A relationship that's beauty is beyond any earthly friendship that I can ever imagine.  The beauty rejection has done for me is that it helped me to understand that not everybody is meant to be in my life or me in theirs......and THAT IS OK!  That is how it is supposed to be.  There are only a select few people that God wants in our deepest part of us and rejection allows Him to weed out the ones who are not supposed to be in there.  So, for the first time ever, I am SO thankful for REJECTION!!!!  I know it's so cliche' but it's so true, "Rejection is protection!"  So, at some point, we HAVE TO STOP chasing that in which He is trying to separate us from.  We have to STOP chasing the rejection.  How crazy is it that sometimes we CHASE the rejection?  Well, it stops today!  I hope you will join me! 

Every time I think about rejection, I think about the story of Leah and Rachel and what rejection did in their story.  Have you ever just felt so left out, so unchosen, so rejected?  I have.  Up until recently, I felt that day in and day out.  I can truly say that God has finally delivered me from the past rejections I have encountered.  I have found forgiveness, peace, love and the strength and courage to let go.  I had to let go of the hurt feelings and most of all I had to let go of the chase.   

Stay tuned for "I Trusted Too Easily"..... 

Praying For A Best Friend

I don't know about you all but when it comes to best friends, I don't want just any best friend but I want a spiritual best friend. A spiritual best friend is one who is committed to walking through life's ups and downs with you and who is committed to help you grow in God! A spiritual friend is somebody who in the midst of problems, stops everything to reach out and pray with you and who makes an effort to understand you.

This past year has stretched and grown me so much.I see so many things differently. The miscarriage taught me about the reality of hopes and dreams being taken from out of our grasp in a blink of an eye. It brought a phenomenal trust in God that I cannot put into words. My plans are not His plans and I'm so thankful for that. He knows what I need and when I need it and even in the deep pain, I must trust Him.

My recent health issues have taught me patience and courage. The scare of a breast nodule and getting mammograms and breast ultrasounds shook me to my core but I had a peace throughout the whole process. Maybe it was discerning that everything would be ok and that the nodule was not cancerous or maybe it was the trust I have built up in Him over the past few months. I'm not sure what it was but it was amazing. I felt His love in a big way and I saw His hand working in every detail of my health issues.

I have seen His hand vividly this past year. I would never ever want to relive this year again but I don't regret it for one second nor would I change one thing. The pain and frustration were real but so was His love. His love has been the only thing that has literally saved my life this past year. His love is what reached out to me in my moments of despair and brought me out of the pit of depression. This year has grown me so much and my relationship with God has grown leaps and bounds!

I love people deeper and truly see the beauty in every single person in my life. Just two months ago, I can sadly say, that wasn't me. Trauma and health scares have brought me to a place of peace with myself that leads me to a place of peace with others. I used to be critical of myself and of others but I have realized that life is too short for that and people are too important. I think of all of my friends and want to embrace each of them and I anticipate the new friends because those friends will be getting the best of me from the get go (sorry oldies, nothing personal.....it just took me some time and heartache to get here).

I say all this to say that I am extremely happy where I am in life right now. I know without a shadow of doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Right now in this moment, I am extremely grateful for an amazing husband who is above and beyond all of my prayers. I'm thankful for a job that allows me to serve others and help build the Kingdom of God. I'm also thankful for this longing for a spiritual friendship. It's this deep longing to connect with one friend, a best best best friend. Scripture tells us that a friend will stick closer than a brother.....wow, closer than our own blood. I want the kind of friend that scripture talks about, one who sticks closer than a brother. Don't get me wrong, I have AMAZING friends who are lifers and will always be forever besties to me but I miss having that one friend who is without a shadow of doubt, my BEST FRIEND.

When I think of that friend that is described in scripture, I think of the sister who a gal talks to every single day. They text, call, facetime and email everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that they are not in communication. I think of the sister who is fully committed to growing in Christ and who will be the one to encourage, hold accountable and cheer the other on. I think of sisters who are fully committed to communicating and committing to understand one another, even when it's hard to understand one another and especially when the waves are rocky. I miss that in my life and it's crazy but I didn't know it was missing until I built a love in my heart that's ready for deep and honest spiritual friendship.

One might ask, what about your husband? My husband is AMAZING and is definitely my best friend but.....he's definitely not a sister. He doesn't understand the importance of needing the dress that's on sale or that I can't wear a t-shirt to dinner with his parents or why I have a long bed time routine of face washing, hair grooming and teeth whitening and he especially doesn't understand my need to know how to put on false eye lashes. God made husbands and I'm SO thankful for that.....but He also created us for relationships with friends who stick closer than a brother. Tonight, I pray for my best friend. I used to pray for my husband and God brought me the most AMAZING husband ever! I know through the relationship I have with my husband that He will be faithful in bringing me a friend that will stick closer than a sister.

If you are lonely for a friend that will stick closer than a brother or sister tonight, close your eyes and pray for him or her. Trust that God has placed that desire in your heart for a reason and that it is not silly. It's not silly at all to desire the kind of friendship scripture teaches us about. He is a faithful God and He created you for real connection with others! I'm praying for my best friend tonight. I don't know who she is or what she is doing but I pray that God is guiding her, protecting her and loving on her tonight!